


Still

by EmeraldAlitrex



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe, Exotic Dancer Claire, F/M, Soldier Jamie, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldAlitrex/pseuds/EmeraldAlitrex
Summary: When Claire's entire village is burned to the ground and her family with it, she is forced to make a fresh start in the city with nothing to her name at Dreamland, a night club and brothel in the city. Jamie is a soldier, tired of the lifestyle of partying with his brothers in arms, tired of the war, missing his beloved Lallybroch. When he sees Claire dancing, both of their lives are changed forever.Based loosely on the Opera "Madama Butterfly"/ "Miss Saigon" the Musical.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 265
Kudos: 272





	1. Welcome to Dreamland

She shivered as she walked through the cold, dark street, her thin shawl wrapped around her tightly, her medicine bag, banging against her hip over and over again as she walked. It was all she had left from her village. Since it had been burned down, along with all the inhabitants. Her parents, her neighbors included. She had been walking for days, numb. 

She fought back the tears, thinking of their bodies, burned beyond recognition and tried to quickly hustle through the city, looking for a warm place to spend the night. She searched the streets, looking for anywhere she might be able to find shelter from the cold. 

How she found herself, about to collide with the ground, only catching herself before her face hit the pavement hit her as a surprise, and she let out a yelp as her knees and hands scraped against the pavement. 

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!" she yelped, as she rolled over to examine her now bleeding hands and knees. Claire sighed and turned her head to the sky. 

_Of all the days to be clumsy, did it have to be today?_ She felt the tears fall, whether it was from the pain of being injured or the emotional pain of having her life upended . She reached Into the bag and tried to see if she had anything to clean the cut on her legs. 

"Come on why all the fuss?" she heard a voice say. She looked up to see a red-haired woman. "Life's dropped you at the bottom of the heap, lass?"

"I suppose so." she almost laughed. 

"Ah and she's English."the woman smirked. 

"It certainly doesn't help."

The red head helped her up.

"I'm Geilis." "

"Claire."

"well you're certainly a long way from home."

"I...." she bit her lip and sucked in a deep breath "I don't have a home anymore."

"Eh, home is overrated." Geilis shrugged, dusting off her skirt. "Jesus, child you're freezing."

"I wasn't expecting the rain."

"Come on, you can stay with us girls tonight. Get warmed up." 

"Girls?"

"Aye, there's a bunch of us." She led her down several streets alley way, the lights of the city growing brighter and brighter

"Welcome to Dreamland" She pushed open the door and Claire's jaw dropped in shock.

"A brothel?"

"Well for legal purposes it's a dance club, but we do offer a bit of extra services for an added fee"

"I... I should go." 

"Stay the night. Clean yourself up. Those look like some nasty cuts ye' got there."

"I'll be fine. If I could just use your washroom." 

"Sure." Geilis pointed the door, and she side stepped a girl in a French maid costume. 

She went to washroom and received herself washing her hands carefully and giving her knees the attention they needed after the fall. She reached out and touched her reflection in the mirror. She was not the young girl she thought she had been a few months ago. Her eyes, hollow, her curls wild around her.

Several of the other girls looked her up and down, scantily clad in shiny metallic outfits, some bosoms out, nipples covered by tassels. Claire found herself blushing, her eyes averted until she saw a girl hobbling. Her eyes looked her up and down. 

"What are you staring at?"

"Your legs." She cleared her throat. " They aren't the same length." 

"Excuse me?"

'"You're having hip pain. It's because you're favoring your left leg. " 

"What about it?"

"You need a lift for your shoes. You can probably add a little bit of it into the insole to make it less noticeable. I'm sure the heels aren't helping but you could get a little lift."

"You're a healer?"

"I was in my ... village" she said sadly. 

"You know anything about birth control?" One of the girl 

"A bit." Claire blushed. "You don't want to have any... intercourse two weeks before your cycle as it puts you at more risk, but I know some teas that can bring on your cycle should something go awry, but you should try to avoid it."

"We... we could use a healer around here." Geillis offered. "It'd be somewhere to stay but you might still have to still dance."

"She's certainly got the legs for it."

"And the arse." Another girl laughed. 

"I'm... I'm just here for one night." Claire tried to explain. Geillis grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the side entrance of the stage.

"Come see what we're about."

"They do their dances and they serve drinks," Geillis said as Claire observed, her shawl wrapped around her even tighter as she watched the girls, dancing in cages, on poles, on the tables even, shaking and moving their hips to the rhythm of the music. Some of them sat in the laps of GIs and laughed. 

She felt dirty just for watching, but it was oddly erotic at the same time. Perhaps just for the chance to have someplace to stay for a little while. Perhaps she could serve drinks. She had a quick memory, perhaps waitressing would be okay.

"It's good money. Think about it." Geillis told her. "Come I'll show you a place you can rest." 

She took her to a small room a ways away from the dressing room. It was sparsely decorated, just a small bed and nightstand.

"Thank you."

"We'll chat in the morning."

_Flames. The sound of screaming voices, as she tried to put out the fires, trying to find her parents, uncle Lamb, seeing their bodies broken apart, ripped in pieces, limbs separated from trunks._

She awoke almost screaming, but catching herself she simply took a few deep breaths. Would it ever get easier?

The next morning she packed her things when one of the girls came to her with some cuts and she cleaned them up well.

"I should go." 

"Where would you go?"

"I.. I don't know."

"Stay." Geillis urged her. "I can talk to him."

"Him?" Claire asked. "Who is he?"

"They call him the Physician. But his name is Master Raymond. He owns Dreamland. He gets all the men in here to get us the money." Geillis guided her along the corridor to the back office where the short man sat at a desk, his hands busy counting a large stack of money. 

"I got you fresh meat."

"Fresh meat?" Claire asked. "Are you serious?"

"She's got fire, oui." the man looked her up and down, circling her. "Quite the figure too." Claire stood frozen sucking in a breath. 

"Yes. She's a healer. She helped Mary with her hip and Louise with the cuts from John from last night." 

"Very helpful indeed." 

"She can stay if she dances and waitresses. She's got that virgin glow about her. _La Dame Blanche_." he let out a small laugh.

She bit her tongue to stop her from saying anything she may regret. 

"Have her push drinks tonight, get her some clothes, and teach her some good moves _mon Cherie._ " 

"Yes, Monsieur." Geillis grinned. "Come on then hen, I'm sure we've got work to do." 

She spent the next few hours teaching Claire some moves she could use and Claire felt like a fool.

"Yer doing great hen," 

"Are you sure men like this?" She asked as she danced, hips swaying, her arse stuck out.

"Aye. Honestly, as long as yer tits or yer arse is shaking, they're usually quite pleased." Geillis laughed

She found herself trying on numerous outfits, trying to find anything with a semblance of modesty, but was out of luck, finding herself in something that resembled a corset, with nearly nothing to wear covering her privates, a thong, the thin strip of fabric nestle between her rear cheeks.

"A little hairspray will keep it from riding up." one of the girls suggested.

"And what do you want to do for hair and makeup?"

"I... I never really tried to do-"

"Don't worry, we'll take care of it," Louise said. She took the makeup brushes and began to apply shadows, blush, liners, mascara, and lipstick. When Louise was done, Claire hardly recognized herself.

"I... I don't look like me." 

"I find it's easier that way," she said. "That way I don't feel like it's me when I'm with those men. I can almost pretend that it's not happening."

"Louise..." she said sadly.

"It's a living," she said with a quick little laugh. "I'm doing the best I can."

"We all are," Geillis said. 

That first night she tried her best to walk carefully in the incredibly high shoes, preemptively applying bandages to the part where her shoe touched her heels, praying she didn't get blisters. They would only slow her down when she eventually had to leave Dreamland. But she went from table to table, serving drinks to the soldiers, avoiding grabbing hands as best she could, occasionally a hand would touch her rear end causing her to let out a yelp or run a little. 

She danced in one of the side areas that was relatively empty for a few songs thankful that the GIs were very drunk and not paying attention to her. 

As the night wore on, some of the girls had ... customers. Well paying men could do what they wanted with the girls.

She was thankful that she could just go rest at the end of the night, where she hugged her shawl and tried to not think of home.

The days as Dreamland soon began to pass faster, Claire taking care of the girls' minor injuries, curing headaches and stomachaches, making drinks to help with menstrual cramps. She felt sad, but she was building a life here. But each day she searched the newspapers she found outside, looking for nurse jobs. There was little but propaganda but she wouldn't give up hope. 

She was getting better at dancing, more comfortable showing skin which in turn garnered more tips, which of course mostly went to Master Raymond. She saved what she could, hiding it in old medicine bottles. She was thankful that Master Raymond was able to get her some of the more rare herbs to help the girls.

"You need to dance more, you should consider doing more work." he encouraged.

"I...I shouldn't."

"You're fresh meat, You'll get a big cut of the cost you could use it to pay for a school. I know this isn't the life you want mon cherie. You could get out of here." 

"I don't think I should -"

"Think about it." 

She had finished cleaning up the bar later than usual and was walking to her room later.

She could almost tune out the moans by now. She knew 90% of them were fake anyway. 

She heard Geilis's voice. "Take me out of here... take me with you back home. I'll make a good wife."

"Shut up, bitch." 

She heard the sound of a slap before the man stormed a few seconds later, still fixing his trousers. 

"Geillis?" she peered in.

"I'm fine hen." She said, fighting back tears, a hand clutching her face. 

"Let me get you some ice." Claire went and found some ice from the bar, stuffing it in a bag, wrapping it in a towel and applying it to the red-heads face. "Here" She sat down on the bed beside her friend, now wrapped in a robe. 

"They aren't nice," she said, sitting up. Most of the time... they're just noise. They're all bark and no bite. They act like they're big tough men. But really they're just scared lads."

"It's a war. I can't blame them fro being afraid." 

"No... but you can blame them for being little shits." Claire nodded with a laugh.

"Louise was right before, ye ken." 

"About?"

"Pretending it's someone else. They don't care about us. There's nothing in their hearts." She sighed, removing the ice for a moment. 

"It probably won't bruise, but you may want to keep taking the ice on and off. Alternate ten minutes off and on." It constricts the vessels so they don't bleed."

"Thanks." 

"What do you think of?"

"I think of being out of here. Living out of the war zone, my husband and I, hopefully some rich, old goat I don't have to live with a long time. Our kids spend their days playing, eating too many sweets. I have a big Hogmany celebration in a big gorgeous house. A manor "

"It sounds nice." Claire said.

"What about you?"

"I don't need any of that. I just want to be a healer. Someplace safe would be nice."

"Ye don't want to be a mother?"

"I'm not opposed to it. I just... not here. Not surrounded by all this devastation. I...I was supposed to be married before I came here." 

"Was he handsome?"

"He was attractive, but he was...unkind."

"Then why marry him?"

"He was a friend of my uncle. We were promised to each other" 

"An older man."

"Not too much but... I couldn't see myself in that life. Not playing housewife to him. But then my village-" Claire's voice shook as the tears came to her eyes. 

"I understand." Geilis said. "You don't have to say anything else." 

Claire nodded and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. 

"Care for a dram?"

"Why not?"

The Red head grabbed her a glass, filling it with a nip of whisky. 

"To getting out of dreamland." Geillis said. Claire raised her class to her and they clinked their glasses.

"To getting out of dreamland." 


	2. GI Jamie

Colonel James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser was tired. He was tired of being far from his beloved Lallybroch. He was tired of being in a war where he didn't even know who the enemy was, and he was tired of getting drunk over and over again, waking up next to some girl he didn't care about. He had stopped a few weeks ago as the battles, the bombings and strategy had to take precedent over anything else. It was a turning point in the war, and he wanted to be on the right side of history. 

"Colonel Fraser," one of the lower-ranking soldiers asked. "We are headed to Dreamland if you care to join us."

"Aye, I'm afraid I have some paperwork to finish lad. Go on. Perhaps another time." 

"Aye Colonel." he was grateful to have such a good relationship with his men. Despite being relatively young, he had climbed the ranks quickly to become a Colonel. He had enlisted with a sense of purpose, but now? Now he was unsure. 

"Jamie?" he heard a knock at the door, only to see his Godfather and best friend Murtagh, standing there. "You alright?"

"Long day Murtagh. I...I think I'm just burnt out." he sighed.

"Aye, it's been a rough couple of weeks."

"Aye." Jamie sighed, resting his head in his hands.

"Ye should try and let go a bit. Ye cant have the whole world on your shoulders all the time." 

"But it feels like it. I'm not sure they should have entrusted me in this role."

"Yer a great leader Jamie. They made a good choice. They didn't entrust you with this role for no reason. "

"Thanks," Jamie smiled at him. "Go join the men. I'll be finishing up here soon. Maybe I'll join ye."

"I'll see you then."

He had no real intention of joining them. He had no intention of leaving his quarters that night. There was far too much to do. He started drafting a few letters.

One to his own commanding officer, detailing what his troops had been doing, what he anticipated their next few strategic movements would be, and another to Jenny, his older sister. 

He lied to her in those letters. He always told her everything was fine, that they were safe, that his lads had all survived whatever skirmish they had found themselves in that week. He always felt guilty. But he couldn't tell her the truth. She already had seen it first hand when her fiancé Ian had returned from the war, with only one leg. She couldn't bear another heartbreak like that. 

Instead he mostly wrote of memories of their childhood, growing up on their parents' large estate, riding horses, swimming in the streams, running through the woods. He wrote of how he missed them and dreamed of the day he would return. It helped him escape for just a few minutes from this hell.

He remembered the one time he had gone back home on leave. He remembered the dirty looks he had received getting off the plane, the doors slammed in his face. They didn't want to know of the war, they didn't want to see him. He didn't feel at home in the city. They didn't support what he was doing here. 

He wasn't even sure he supported what he was doing here, but it felt easier to be back in the thick of it, surrounded by bombings, shootings, and fires. It didn't even matter anymore. Even on his meager salary here, he lived like a king.

At first it had been fun. There were girls like he had never seen back home. But he didn't want to be with them. He felt like a shell of himself after a night of partying. He felt dirty and felt like he had to pray. 

It had only taken a few instances of nights like that for him to stop. He dove into his work and was promoted. He hoped that it was enough, that when the war, he'd have enough to open the Lallybroch distillery. 

What he wouldn't give for a good whiskey. He got up and walked over to his cabinet, only to find the bottle empty.

He cursed himself for having shown the stash to a few other men, knowing that he would never have put the bottle back like that.

Maybe a trip to Dreamland was in the cards. 

He grabbed his wallet, adjusted his hat, and started the not so long walk over to Dreamland. He heard it long before he could see it, the sound of a saxophone, of laughter, of glass bottles, clinking. He stood outside for a moment, glancing toward the doorway. Did he really want to go in?

His decision was made for him from one of his younger patrolmen, came flying out of there, Only to puke right on his shoes.Dreamland was not in the cards tonight. 

He winced and made a face, as he tried to take a step back and avoid any more of the vomiting splashback.

"Ye alright laddie?" he eventually asked when the boy had stopped his wee wrenching noises and looked up, horrified of who he had just vomited on.

"Just fine Colonel." 

"Let's get you back to base. Ye need fluid and rest, and tomorrow yer cleaning my shoes."

The man gulped. "Yes Colonel."

He guided the man back to base, an arm around his shoulder, got him to his bunker, and left him there in the capable hands of one of the other men. 

He made it back to his quarters, removing his shoes and rinsing them off outside, disposing of the socks in the proper receptacle.

"Milord, I could polish your shoes for you." a small voice said. He looked down to see a maybe 8-year-old boy in front of him. 

"The man who ruined them ought to be the one to fix them."

"But I weel do it now for a low price." 

He looked at the boy again. He was dirty, and thin. He needed money and something to eat far more than the other man needed to be taught a lesson.

"Why don't ye come inside and have something to eat and a warm shower laddie? I'll get yer clothes washed for ye."

"I...." the boy looked frightened.

"I promise ye, I'm just trying to help ye. Ye look cold and hungry. You don't have to do anything." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, on my honor as a soldier and as a man, I swear it."

The young boy peered at him through narrowed eyes and looked him up and down before deciding he was trustworthy enough. 

He brought the boy to the mess which was closing up, but the crew brought out some food for the young lad and Colonel. 

"Tres bien!" the young boy said. He allowed the boy to eat in peace and eventually brought him to an area so he was able to shower. He quickly washed the lad's clothes, best he could, and gave him a t-shirt and briefs that were far too big for him to wait in while his clothes dried. 

"Whats your name lad?"

"I don't have one milord." 

"Ye don't have a name?" Jamie's heart broke. The poor child had not only grown up without parents but without even having a name. 

"I was raised by some of the ladies at one of the clubs, the _Maison Elise_ , for a while, but they started having bad men who came to..." the boy looked terrified.

"Well you are not going back there lad, but I do think everyone should have a name. Why don't you pick one for yourself?"

"I... I don't know any boys names."

"How about... Fergus? It's a braw name where I come from."

"Fergus..." he tested it out. "I like it, Merci milord." 

"Yer quite welcome lad. Why don't you get some rest. Theres a big sofa in my office, we'll get you some pillows and blankets and you can sleep here.

"Thank you milord."

"Ye don't have to call me that. I'm Colonel James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser. You can call me Colonel, or Jamie."

"I like milord." Fergus said. 

"Well alright then. Ye get some rest laddie." 

Somehow the lad became a fixture in his life, doing small errands for him around base. Eventually Jamie commandeered an extra cot for the lad, but the other men found themselves hosting the young lad for sleepovers. They got him new clothes, and one of the soldiers even managed to find him a few toys. 

Fergus started to look more like a boy, and less like a wisp. The days turned into weeks, and Jamie couldn't help but feel pride for this snip of a boy who had fallen into his charge.

But the war, was getting worse day by day. They discussed the possibility of pulling all the troops out. The revolutionaries in the city were becoming dangerous, and there seemed to be little hope.

But for now, they were doing what they could to keep themselves and the city they were stationed in safe. 

"Samhain is coming up," Murtagh said one night. 

"Aye," Jamie said.

"Ye should have a bit of fun. The lads are going down to dreamland. The lassies are having a costume contest from what I hear and I'm sure you might see something you like."

"Waking up with one of those girls... it's not fun anymore." Jamie said. "I honestly have to say the rosary a bunch of times. I feel dirty and guilty."

"Ye don't have to touch, just have a drink take a look, maybe get a dance."

"We'll see Murtagh." 

But the night of Halloween came, and how he found himself standing outside of Dreamland, making a sign of the cross at the door surprised him, praying that tonight could somehow be different. Praying for a sign. 


	3. La Dame Blanche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So grateful for the positive feedback I've seen so far! I love your comments and look forward to reading them! Glad you are enjoying so far.

How the months were passing at an alarming pace to Claire. Had she already been dancing for 6 months? 

It wasn't just dancing though. She often found herself being called back from her sets to go to the dressing room or to the alley behind the club, to heal someone or provide a salve or medicine of some kind. They had taken to calling her what Master Raymond had called her that first day at Dreamland, _La dame Blanche._

Some thought of her as a witch or a fairy. But she knew the truth. She was just a woman, trying to get out of here. But she did build herself a home amongst the girls at Dreamland. She thought that perhaps living with them is what it was like to live in a sorority like she had seen in the films. Lots of women sharing one space, drama, lots of men.

She had been heavily considering Master Raymond's suggestions of _expanding her horizons_. Of selling her... virtue. She didn't like to think of it like that. She didn't like to think of it honestly, but the girls who did that made a lot more money, and more money meant a chance of being able to pay for a way out or for a healing course. 

"Geillis?" she asked at the red-heads door. 

"Yes hen?"

"I... I was wondering if you had a moment."

"For sure come in." She sat down beside the other woman. 

"Master Raymond has encouraged me to..."

"Spread yer legs for more money?"

"Well yes."

"It's really not that bad." she shrugged. "Ye get used to it."

"It's just I... I've never.... what if I'm bad at it?"

"I highly doubt that." Geillis laughed. "Ye have a gentle touch about you. I could teach ye a trick or two."

She gratefully accepted a demonstration of different positions and blushed thoroughly at some of her explanations and demonstrations.

"Ye should do it on the day of the Costume Contest. Like Louise said, easier to pretend its not you." 

And so she told Master Raymond, she was open to the idea.

"Tres bien, mon cher. You will fetch a handsome price tonight for sure." 

She nodded and headed to get ready. 

They thought of her as a lady in white, a fairy, and tonight she would be. She wore a sheer white dress that hugged her curves and a pair of wings she had crafted out of some wire hangers and fabric she had found around backstage. 

"Ye look gorgeous hen."

"You look- bewitching," she looked at Geillis, wearing a witches costume, a corset, and pointed hat.

"Haha very funny." the redhead laughed. "Are ye nervous?"

"Yes," she admitted honestly.

"Ye'll be fine. Promise. Come to my room after and ye can tell me all about it."

The night started a little slow, but as the hour grew later more and more men came to the club. None of the girls would be available for extra services for later, so Claire fell into the say routine best she could of serving drinks and doing her dance on stage.

She was walking with an empty tray, headed back to the bar when she bumped into someone, a tall red-headed officer.

"I'm so sorry" she looked up at him. _He's gorgeous_. "I -- I wasn't-"

"It's my fault lass. I should have given ye a little more clearance with your wings, angel." He touched her shoulder and she shivered. "Yer alright though?"

"Please, let me get you a drink as an apology." 

"A whiskey if ye please."

"I'll be right back with that."

She ran to the bar as fast as she could and got a whiskey for the officer.

Another man had approached him in her absence. 

"Whiskey. Can I get you anything sir?"

"Aye, a dance for my friend here." The older gentleman said, shoving some money at her. She took a deep breath and nodded, a small blush rising to her cheeks. 

The officer nearly spat out his whiskey and turned red as his hair. 

"What ye don't like her?"

"Oh no, I do."

"I like him too." she grinned at him, surprised at her own. She led him away to a private area of the club, curtains drawn. 

She had him seated and was suddenly very shy as she was about to start.

"You don't have to dance for me," he said. 

"Would you prefer I do something else?" she asked surprised. 

"Sit, and talk with me."

"That's certainly a first." 

"It's not I don't want ye to dance but, there's something about ye, Sassenach-" he bit his lip. "I'm making a fool of myself.

"No... no you're not." 

She pulled up a seat and sat across from him.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Claire."

"Colonel Ja-" He paused " Jamie." he introduced with a shy smile. They sat there for a moment in silence. 

"Yer very bonny, I mean beautiful," he said. "I'm sorry I don't mean to sound like a wee lad but I've never seen someone quite like you. Ye seem so... light. It's fitting ye know?"

"Is it?"

"The Gaelidgh work for your name, Claire, is Sorcha. Means light. What's a girl like you doing here?"

"Like everyone else I suppose? We just want to get out of here. I... I want to be a healer."

"Tell me more." and so she did. She felt so bare telling him about her dreams, but she had never felt so connected to someone, and never felt so heard.

"CLAIRE!" she heard Master Raymond's voice.

"I've been gone too long," she said sadly as she got up from the chair. "See you around, Colonel."

"Count on it. I want another dance with ye." he grinned at her.

\-------

Jamie had gathered up the courage to walk into the club, and he hadn't even been there a minute when he froze in place. He saw an angel approaching him. Well a very tempting angel, and he didn't even think to move when she walked right into him.

He had forgotten how to breathe for a moment when he saw her. She was almost glowing as the light hit her dress and her wings.

He apologized to her almost in autopilot, unsure of what he was even saying, until he requested a whiskey and she promised to be right back.

"Jesus Murtagh, who is she?" 

"Ah see ye've met the newest lass, La Dame Blanche. They say she's a witch."

"Monsieur Murtagh, Monsieur Jamie long time no see. Come for a good time?"

"Came to get my friend here laid as a last souvenir before we leave this place, don't think it'll be too long now." Murtagh, said as he clapped Jamie on the back.

"Yer full of it Murtagh."

"Ah I see ye've met _La Dame Blanche,_ " Master Raymond said following Jamie's eyes across the room to where Claire was at the bar.

"Aye."

"You have a good eye, monsieur Jamie, she's my new princess. She's only been dancing so far." 

"Aye. She's bonny." 

"I'll leave you to it gentleman."

He watched the angel bring him his drink and thanked her before Murtagh bought him a dance with her. 

He enjoyed their time talking about her dreams and was sad to see her have to go.

He returned to the main area of the club to find Murtagh. 

"Enjoy your gift?"

"We just talked."

"Is she that bad at dancing?" Murtagh laughed. 

"No, I just... I want to know her."

"Ye look like yer da when he met your mam, head over heels." 

"Don't be crazy. I just met her."

"Sometimes that's all it takes."

\--------------------------

"Looks like La Dame Blanche might have caught a wee fox cub." Geillis said as she headed backstage to touch up her make up."

"There's nothing wee about Jamie."

"Oh we're on a first-name basis now?"

"He... his friend bought him a dance and we talked instead."

"You talked.... has the man not see yer arse?"

"He. said I was 'bonny' and that he just wanted to talk and we did."

"So he likes men?"

"No, I don't think that. I don't know. He was "

"Claire, don't get a crush on the customers."

"It's not a crush. I just respect him is all."

"Uh-huh. Get on stage." 

Claire performed her usual routine on stage in her new angel costume, dancing, twirling, she spotted Jamie in the crowd slack-jawed as she dance and she grinned at him.

She finished her routine and was headed back to the club when she heard a scuffle occurring. 

"Claire." she heard Geillis call her. She headed back to the other woman on stage.

"They're fighting over ye." she explained.

"No- why would-?"

"That GI wanted you for the night apparently and said some very ungentlemanly things and your wee fox cub did not seem to like it. Maybe he does like you after all."

She heard a groan. 

"He needs medical attention and so she rushed to grab her medical bag and found that Jamie was now in one of the rooms where the girls normally gave lap dances.

"If you wanted to get my attention, I'm sure there are less painful ways," she said as she looked at him.

"Aye, Sassenach, but then I wouldn't get to see you in action." he grinned. 

She cleaned a gash on his forehead, and then examined his hands. 

"I'm afraid you broke you broke some of your fingers," she said examining how swollen some of them were. 

"I've had worse. Grew up on a farm, lots of injuries here and there." 

"I'll wrap them up for you, but I want you to come back and let me check on that cut every few days to make sure it's clean and not getting infected."

"Thanks for fixing me up, and thanks for giving me an excuse to come see you," Jamie said.

"You want to come see me?"

"Aye. I.. I don't know if this sounds crazy but I felt connected after we talked before. Hope you don't mind having to see my face." he grinned at her.

"Not at all." her face softened and she smiled at him. "How'd you get into a scuffle anyway?" she asked him, as she applied ice to his forehead.

"He was not acting as a man in his position should. He's an officer and he should act as a gentleman."

"So you were showing him his place?"

"He said some very foul things Sassenach." His face soured. "I couldn't let him do that to yo-" he paused and looked at her.

"I'm sure he learned his lesson," she said, removing the ice from his face. 

"Aye, I hope so." Jamie looked at her, his eyes focused on her rouged lips. 

"Sassenach?"

"Yes?"

"I'd very much like to kiss ye but I don't want to ov-" 

"Shut up and kiss me Jamie," she said. 

She moved closer to him and closed the gap, settling in his lap, his arms wrapping around her as they kissed. It felt like nothing she had ever experienced first. He tasted like whiskey and his lips molded to hers, and she moaned against him.

"Claire-? Oh sorry. I'll come back." Louise's voice said

She sighed. Her forehead pressed against his.

"I'd very much like to see you again Sassenach," he said. "And never stop kissing you."

"Likewise," she said, as she adjusted her costume and removed herself from his lap.

"We don't have to do anything tonight but may I... may I buy your time?"

"You don't have to-"

"I want to but only if you would accept my company."

She nodded. "I'll see you soon." She followed Louise out. 

"I look forward to it." he grinned. 


	4. First Night Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. This Chapter is basically smut. I hope you enjoy!

She found herself back in Jamie's lap before long. He liked her there, he had decided and did not want to let her up. He had convinced Master Raymond to let him have her the full night and eventually they headed back to her small room.

She felt shy showing him the small room she had claimed as her own. There wasn't much in it save the small bed. But he sat beside her, his shoes off, their backs resting against the headboard, leaning into each other as they talked about their past, and their future.

"So what's your story?" he asked her.

"My story?" she looked at him. "I'm afraid it's not very interesting."

"I still want to hear."

"You want to hear about another tragedy? I was raised in a village not far from here that was bombed by god knows who." She said. "My friend, my parents all burned in the fires. I found their bodies, I could barely tell it was them. I was only saved by the fact that I was out in another village helping with an injury."

"Claire-"

"I was promised to a man who was older than me, a friend of my uncle, who was unkind and didn't actually care about me but only wanted to control me." 

"Claire-" Jamie wrapped an arm around her and held her. He felt for this girl, his heart ached and he wished to make her feel better.

"Shh mo leannan, I've got ye. " and she cried. She held onto him. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cr.."

"Shhh. You don't need to apologize lass. I shouldn't have pried."

"I... I just moved on and came here." she settled upon. "I started dancing and healing on the side." she settled upon a few moments later. Jamie nodded as he listened to her. "They've been good to me here. Master Raymond never made me do anything I wasn't okay with."

She paused. "Jamie I've never been-. You... you're the first man I've ever brought back with me."

"I'm glad to hear it lass," he said, stroking her cheek gently with one of his fingers, wiping away the tears. "I dunno what I would do if someone had hurt you."

She snuggled against his chest once more before kissing him again. The sun was rising and they had been talking all night. Slowly and gently, lips gently parting, his tongue silently begging for entrance, which she allowed. His hands guided her body to straddle his thighs, an erection already starting to grow in his pants as he kissed her. 

He tried to think bad thoughts to keep the erection down, but how could he think of anything so bad when he had an angel in his arms. She had paused for a moment and looked at him.

"I'm sorry Claire, I don't want to be such a lech-"

"Don't apologize, Jamie, it's only natural." She said. "You see something you like then?" she grinned at him.

"Aye very much." he nodded, kissing her again something fierce, as her thighs lowered her back down, his pants and a thin piece of fabric she was wearing being the only separation. He felt like a randy teenager and tried to keep himself from rubbing against her for more friction, against what he really wanted to do.

She continued to give him head-spinning kisses.

"Claire- ye must stop," he breathed hard for a moment. "I'm trying very hard to be a gentleman and do right by ye-"

"What if I don't want you to be a gentleman?" she said her eyes looking darker. 

"Ye don't mean that lass.." he said. "I want to make love to ye, not to fuck ye- but I want ye to be ready. And I don't want it to be because I bought yer time. I want it to be because ye want me too."

"What if I do?"

"Then I think it can wait," he said. "Claire, please. It's killing me to say this but I want to wait to make love to ye fully. Yer so bonny and god ye have the most gorgeous round arse I've ever seen but yer special. I want to make this special fer ya." 

She smiled at him sweetly. "Jamie- I want it to be you."

"Aye, I want it to be me who brings ye so much pleasure ye can scarcely breathe," he said as he began to kiss down from her lips down her neck where he gently began to nip and suck at her pulse point, eliciting a moan from her. he continued to kiss and suck, making his ways back to her lips. 

"May I take off yer corset Claire? I want to see those beautiful breasts of yers." She slowly undid the ties of her corset, and shyly removed it, her arms covering her breasts. 

"Ye don't need to hide from me Mo nighean donn," he said, and she let her arms fall to her sides. He gently cupped her breasts. They were perfect in every way. He gently rubbed his thumbs over her hardened nubs. She let out a small gasp, as his mouth latched on to one of them, as he rolled the other one between his fingers. She moaned, her hand in his curls holding his head against her. 

"Lay back?" he asked her. And so she rolled off of him and onto her back. He began back at her mouth again, kissing her hard, and then slowly making his way down toward the apex of her thighs. 

He looked up at her and began kissing her inner thighs, never quite reaching the thing he wanted to so desperately taste. 

"Sassenach, may I taste ye?"

She nodded nervously, as he removed the very thin scrap of fabric to reveal her coarse curls. He parted her legs gently and began to lap at her folds, her taste heavenly. He gently kissed and sucked at her clit, she moaned, holding his head in place. He tentatively rubbed one finger from his good hand, gently between her slick folds and rubbed it up and down, circling her slick entrance. 

He looked to Claire, and she gave the slightest of nods as one of his fingers slowly entered her, she let out a gasp.

 _Christ she was so tight_ , just round his fingers, and he slowly pumped his finger in and out, his tongue still dancing across her clit.

"God Jamie please.." and he watched her as she started to fall apart in front of him as one finger became two, and he continued to pump them into her, stroking her g spot. 

He felt her tighten around his fingers as she came undone, her breathing heavy. 

He grinned as he crawled back up her. body.

"Christ lass, yer beautiful when ye come," he told her as he gently kissed her and cradled her to his body. 

"I've never felt like-"

"I wanted to make ye feel good lass. I'm glad I could" he said.

"My turn to make you feel good then," she said with a wicked grin.

"Claire, ye don't have"

"Please?" she asked. "It's only fair." 

He bit his lip and nodded as she began to slowly unbutton his shirt, a trail of kisses across his chest as her hands rubbed across the expanse of his muscular chest. She undid the buckle of his belt, and undid the button of his trousers, slowly pulling them off his now lifted hips. She tossed them to the floor, and rubbed his length over his boxers, eliciting a moan.

She removed the final barrier between them and she stared at his manhood for a moment. She hesitantly touched it, stroking it gently.

"Ye can use a little more force if ye like. Yer unlikely to break it." Jamie teased. 

She grinned up at him and gave it a few more firm strokes, in which Jamie let out a content sigh. She examined it and gently ran her tongue from the base to the shaft, her tongue swirling around the head like Geillis had shown her on a lollipop. He moaned, as she continued to stroke and suck on his manhood, a hand cupping his balls.

" _A Dhia!"_ he exclaimed moaning, doing everything he could from bucking his hips into her mouth. She continued her ministrations, eliciting more and moans from the officer in his bed.

"Claire, I'm gonna finish -" he warned her as he got close, but she was unrelenting in her attention to his manhood, and he tried to pull back but she kept a firm grip on him, and her lips around his cock as he emptied his load down her throat. 

"A Dhia, Claire I tried to-" 

She used a finger to wipe up the little bit of his seed that had dripped out of her mouth and sucked it off.

"Christ lass, are ye trying to kill me?" he said pulling her back up, her naked body pressed against his own before he kissed her again.

"Did... did I do an okay job?" she asked shyly. "The girls said men like it when you-"

"You were perfect, mo nighean donn." he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Ye make it very hard to be on my best behavior around ye. I didn't know it was possible to want someone this much." 

"I didn't either." she stroked the side of his face. He looked into her eyes and kiss her gently. The two soon fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

She awoke to a soft snore in her ear, her head against Jamie's chest, an arm around her. She spotted her nightgown in the corner of the room and tried to slowly untangle herself from Jamie to have him hold her closer to him.

"Good Morning Sassenach," he said with a lazy grin, kissing her softly. 

"Morning soldier," she said with a smile. "Want me to get you a coffee before you go?"

"Aye I must still be dreaming cuz you're an actual angel. " 

She found the nightgown she had spotted and quickly slipped it over her head and headed over to the bar where a pot of coffee had been brewing.

"Morning Claire," Geillis said.

"Good morning."

"Someone seems chipper. Is that a hickey on your neck?"

"I hadn't looked."

"Jesus, she's glowing. She's gotten laid."

"Not yet. But I did have a pleasant evening." 

"Yet? What did ye do?"

"There are other ways to have fun, I'm sure you're aware." she said as she poured two cups of coffee and started walking back to her room.

Geillis glanced at the two mugs and back to Claire.

"Is one of those for me?"

"No."

"He's still there?"

"We spent most of it talking" she shrugged. "I promised him coffee before he goes."

She found Jamie tying his shoes, sitting on the side of her bed.

She smiled at him from the doorway. 

"I come bearing Coffee."

He looked up and smiled widely at her. 

"Thank ye lass." He took a mug from her hand before kissing her softly. 

He spent a few more minutes beside her, the two of them drinking their coffee in comfortable silence.

"I must go back to base," he said sadly.

"I know," she said, her hands straightening his tie.

"I'll send for ye later today? I do need a wee healer to check on my cut."

"Really?"

"Of course. Claire- I know that we just me but, you and I... this feels right," he said squeezing her hands.

"Yes... Yes it does." she smiled.

"I'll send someone to bring you to base later today. What time do you need to be ready for tonight?"

"Probably 6?"

"Come for lunch then. I'll send someone to bring ye."

"Alright then." She nodded with a grin.

"I can't wait to see ye later lass." He gave her one last kiss before he headed out of the club and back to the base.


	5. Goodbye Until Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut this chapter. Just a bit of fluff. Thankful for the positive response from all of you. A fair warning I am currently an essential worker working full time this week and will have limited time to write but will update as soon as I am able to. Thank you for everything!

He walked back to the base, and into the mess for a quick breakfast before taking a quick shower and returning to his office.

"Someone got lucky last night."

"Not in the way ye think but, indeed I'm a lucky man, Murtagh," Jamie smiled.

"A good night with yer lass then?"

"Aye. I... I don't think I've ever had a night quite like last night."

"I can see that." Murtagh looked at the younger man. "Yer smiling, brighter than I think I've ever see ye."

"I was... She's perfect. I'm seeing her again today."

"Oh are ye? Sure your wallet can handle that?"

"Not like that. She's going to come and have lunch with me. Just a meal, and look at my cuts."

"Jamie she's a -"

"Don't say it." Jamie held up a hand. "She's not like the other girls." 

"She works for Master Raymond, I highly doubt she's that different."

"She lost her parents in the bombings."

"Oh and she's an orphan? How can a man resist a great arse and that?"

"Murtagh. Shut it, yer the one who bought me a dance after all." 

"Whatever ye say Colonel." Murtagh rolled his eyes knowingly at the redhead.

"Have ye seen Fergus?" 

"He was playing near the mess. Should I send him to ye?"

"Please. I have a few tasks for him."

The young lad soon found himself standing in front of Jamie. 

"Milord what happened to your face?"

"Bit of a scuffle laddie. Not to worry. That's actually part of why I called ye here."

"What is it milord?"

"Last night I met a healer at Dreamland, her name is Claire. Do ye ken where that is? "

"Oui my lord. I've heard of Dreamland. It is not far. "

"I'll need ye to go and retrieve Miss Claire around lunchtime. She'll be joining us."

"But of course milord."

"And if ye wouldn't mind doing me a small favor prior to that." he looked at the boy who nodded. "There is a flower shop not too far from there. I'd like ye to pick up some flowers for Miss Claire before you retrieve her. I'll call and order them"

"Are you trying to woo Lady Claire milord?"

"I am, Fergus. I like her verra much." 

"Then you must get her ze most beautiful flowers."

"Thank you lad." he handed Fergus some bills. "And buy yourself a sweet. Thank ye for doing this."

"Thank you milord!" Fergus said excitedly. "When shall I fetch her?"

"Around one o'clock?"

"Plenty of time milord. I will not fail you"

"I never doubted ye laddie." he ruffled the young boy's hair. "Ye may go play before ye go. Have some fun."

"Thank you milord." 

\--------

Claire enjoyed a quick shower after Jamie had left, a little sad that she could no longer smell his cologne on her skin.

She carefully dressed in a modest dress she had borrowed from one of the other girls, the neck high covering any of the marks Jamie had left on it the night before. She applied light makeup, nothing like she wore on the stage. it was like she was a different person, and she hoped in the light of day, Jamie still felt the same about her.

"Claire?" she heard a voice call out. She spotted Louise. "Theres a very young man here to see you."

She put on a pair of comfortable flat shoes she had for walking around backstage and found her standing with a young boy holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Are you Lady Claire?"

"I am and who are you, young man?" she smiled at him.

"My name is Fergus. Milord, Colonel Fraser, sent me to bring you to Lunch." he handed her the bouquet of flowers.

"Are these for me?"

"Oui, milord said he likes you very much."

"Well thank you for bringing me these beautiful flowers Fergus."

"May I take you to milord now?"

"Lets go." she agreed the boy taking her hand and walking with her.

"How did you meet Jamie?" she asked him

"I followed him home one night. I tried to polish his shoes and he instead gave me a place to stay, a name and food."

Her heart ached as the young boy elaborated on his story, and her heart warmed thinking of Jamie. 

\------

Fergus had her come through base. She received a few second glances, but it appeared no one recognized her.

"Enjoy your lunch Milady."

"Thank you Fergus. And thank you for being such good company on the walk." 

"Of course milady." 

She found herself feeling suddenly shy as she rapped at the door with Jamies name on it.

"Ye made it Sassenach!" Jamie said delighted, rising from behind the large desk.

"Wouldn't have missed it." she said. "Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful." 

"I'm glad you like them." He grinned, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. "Come, I have lunch set up for us in my quarters."

They sat down and enjoyed a simple lunch of sandwiches and salad, and simply enjoyed each others company. While Jamie cleared the plates from lunch, she started to explore his sitting room.

His quarters didn't quite feel like him, it didn't have anything personal in it, but she supposed that was the life of a military man, going from place to place. He did have one picture near his desk of a woman and a man. 

"My sister and her husband, Jenny and Ian. Ian was one of my best men. He got injured in a bombing and is back home with her now. Lost a leg." 

"I'm sorry."

"Dinna fasch Sassenach. My sister is just glad he's alive. It was a bit touch and go. But now he's home safe with her."

"Is there anyone back home for... for you?"

"No. The only girl for me is right here in this room with me." He said with a smile and a gentle kiss to her lips. 

"Jamie-"

"I mean it, Sassenach." she smiled back at him blushing.

"Sit down colonel." she urged him, grabbing supplies from her bag. He obliged and sat down, she sat down on the arm of his chair and leaned towards him, cleaning the cut over his eye.

"All done." she applied a clean bandage to it. He quickly pulled her into his lap, and she let out a small yelp as he grabbed her, before laughing, He pressed his lips to hers. She leaned into him, arms wrapping around his neck, his hands ghosting her curves.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Colonel I-" another man stood at the door.

"This better be important."

"I'm sorry Colonel there's been an urgent message from -"

"I'm coming." he said. His forehead pressed to Claire. "We'll continue that another time."

"Yes." she said, her lips slightly swollen. She got up from his lap.

"Sergeant Scott, send Fergus to escort Miss Claire home." 

"Aye Colonel." the man quickly turned around

"I'm sorry Claire." 

"No you're working. I'm sorry to have inter-"

"I'll make it up to ye?"

"You don't have to Jamie I-"

"No I will." he promised. He pressed one more kiss to her knuckles before he grabbed his hat and headed out to deal with whatever urgent issue had arisen.

Fergus was excellent company as he walked her back to Dreamland. She found him to be a very sweet boy, and sent him on his way back to Jamie with a quick hug and a lollipop from Geillis's stash. 

\------

Jamie would send Fergus over to Claire most days with a note, sometimes flowers, or sweets. Sometimes he'd fetch her himself on a long break and walk with her through the city. They found a few stolen moments here and there where they could barely keep there hands off each other, but never got past kissing and rubbing like a pair of teenagers.

It was clear they never really had time alone after that first night. She was working when he was off and vice versa and Claire refused to let him buy any more of her time. 

"Claire ye're going to love me." Geillis said one afternoon a few weeks later.

"Am I?" she asked bored, fixing her hair.

"I got ye tomorrow night off."

"You what?"

"I convinced Master Raymond that ye've been working very hard and that ye deserve a day off. To spend with yer wee fox cub." 

"Geillis are you serious?" 

"Aye." 

"I could kiss you."

"Not my type but go tell yer man that he might have a chance to get lucky." 

\---- 

Fergus had come with a note, and had fallen right outside the club.

He tried to act tough as he hobbled into the club his knee dripping blood.

"Fergus, are you alright darling?" Claire asked. 

"Oui-" he said trying to fight back tears.

"I've got you darling." Claire said as she hugged him, allowing him to cry, and cleaned up the affected knee, peppering the boys forehead with kisses as she got him back into tip top shape. 

Their walk back to the base was a bit slowed but Claire could hardly keep in her excitement, imagining a night alone with Jamie.

Jamie glanced Fergus over, and quickly checked on the lad as Claire stood in the doorway and watched. Her heart warmed as she watched him, and hoped that maybe one day, they'd have children of their own, and they'd have a family. 

She shook her head of the notion.

"Yer hurt laddie?"

"Ma- Milady Claire fixed me up, milord."

"I'm grateful to ye Sassenach." 

"Of course, Jamie." she said. "He'll be good as new in no time." 

"Aye. Why don't ye rest some laddie? Murtagh will give ye a piggyback ride to the mess for a snack."

"Really? Thank ye milord." 

Jamie left the lad in his office and found Murtagh in the hallway.

"Good afternoon, Colonel, Mistress"

"Good afternoon Colonel Fitzgibbons" Claire greeted. 

"Milord?" 

"I'll be right back." Jamie pressed a quick kiss to my cheek.

She stood with Murtagh quietly for a moment. 

"He really cares for ye." he said. 

"And I for him."

"I wasn't so sure about ye."

"My profession." Claire swallowed. "I'm not surprised and I don't blame ye."

"I thought ye might be a spy to be honest," Murtagh sighed. "Ye immediately set your eyes on a high commanding officer and wrapped him around yer finger in minutes."

She let out a laugh. "A spy? Hardly. Jamie says I have a glass face." 

"I ken that now but I love that lad as if he were my own, like Jamie loves Fergus. I always want whats best fer him."

"I do too." she smiled at the other gentleman. 

"I've never seen him so happy, lass. Even back at home." 

Her heart ached. He would have to leave soon and this would end. The last few days, weeks had been bliss. 

"I started applying for yer papers lass."

"My papers?"

"Emigration papers. So you can join him back home with us once they get approved.."

Her jaw dropped. "Colonel Fitzgibbons-"

"Please, call me Murtagh."

"Murtagh- I... I don't know how to thank you." she said 

"You keep making that lad happy." 

"I promise." she said. 

"Ye have time for lunch Sassenach?"

"Of course." She turned back and smiled at Murtagh, as Jamie took her waist and led her toward his quarters, and they settled on his sofa, eating lunch beside each other.

"Ye look awful happy Sassenach. What's on that pretty little mind of yours?" 

"I... I have all day and night off tomorrow," she said biting her lip. 

"Ye do?" he asked surprised.

"We have Geillis to thank for that. I was hoping we might be able to... spend some time together." 

Jamie cocked an eyebrow together. 

"Are ye suggesting that we-?"

"Go all the way? Make love? " she said with a cocky grin. 

"Only if yer sure-"

"Jamie I've wanted to since we met. There's no one else I'd rather do it with." she smiled at him.

He pulled her closer and kissed her, harder than he usually did, her head spinning and heart pounding, his hands caressing her body, hands on her perfect curves.

"Jamie," she moaned as his lips found that spot on her throat that drove her wild.

"I can't wait to make ye call my name all night long Sassenach." he grinned like a cat, his eyes shining at her. 

"I can't wait just to be with you," she said softly, a hand running through his hair. 

"Tomorrow." he said.

"Tomorrow." she agreed with a quick peck. 


	6. Tonight

Claire returned to dreamland not much later with a little more pep in her step, anticipating the actions of the following night. She could hardly hide her happiness, and her routine was rather enthusiastic. 

She could barely sleep, knowing that the day would be spent with Jamie, in his arms with no duties from her job.

"Morning hen," Geillis greeted. 

"Morning." she said, her hand nervously tapping the table, sipping her coffee. 

"Ye've got hours to go, you're gonna drive yourself nutters if ye keep this up."

"I just want to be good and I'm nervous" she defended, looking at the other woman. 

"That lad loves ye. I'm sure he will do everything in his power to make it a special time for ye. Not everyone is so lucky."

"I know."

"My first time was in the back of me gran's station wagon with a boy from Church." Geillis shrugged. "Not exactly a fairy tale." 

"How old were you?" Claire asked.

"Fourteen." 

"Fourteen?" Claire's eyes bulged. 

"Oh aye. I always had an eye for the lads," Geillis shrugged. "Not the most comfortable position. But it got the job done." 

"I...I feel old." Claire said.

"Yer not old. Ye just had the fortune of waiting for a good person. Not all of us had the luck or the sense to do that."

"I was promised to a man as I've told you before, I was supposed to be chaste, otherwise he wouldn't want me." Claire said. "But that deals off obviously."

"As far as men go, yer fox cub is quite the catch Claire. And so are you. He's a lucky man."

"I feel like I'm the lucky one."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. 

"I'll get it." Geillis said sashaying over to the door. 

"Claire?" she called a moment later. "Package for ye." 

Claire strolled over and took a box from Geillis.

"I wonder what it is ." She took it over to a table and opened it up and gasped. 

"A new dress? Wonder who it's from." Geillis said with a knowing grin. 

Claire gingerly picked up the soft fabric, draping the dress against her to half model it, a piece of paper falling to the floor.

"It's beautiful." Geillis said. 

"Can't wait to hold you in my arms tonight. I know you'll look so bonny in this. And out of it." she read aloud with a blush growing on her cheeks. 

"Yer fox cub can't wait to get ye naked."

"Hush." she chided Geillis. She took the dress back to her room and spent special time making sure she was ready for the evening. Very curl had to be perfect, her legs carefully shaved, perfume dabbed on. She put on the dress, and watched as it draped over her curves.

Jamie picked her up himself that night in a borrowed car from Base and drove her back to his quarters

He pushed open the door for her. 

"After ye, Sassenach, "only to see the room set up with dinner for two, with wine poured and candles lit, soft music playing on the radio. 

'I hope ye like it. One of the lads recommended the restaurant." 

"The food is wonderful Jamie." she squeezed his hand from across the table. "Thank you for... everything," she said. 

"Anything for ye lass." 

As they finished their meal, they seemed tense, both afraid to make the first move. 

"Dance with me?" Claire asked.

"I'm not much of a dancer Sassenach."

"Good thing I am then." she pulled him by his hands to the middle of his sitting room. He wrapped his arms around her, her arms wrapped around his neck. The two slowly rocked in place, swaying back and forth.

"Tonight is perfect Jamie." she kissed him softly, a hand cupping his face. They kissed for a few moments before Jamie took her by the hand and led her to his bedroom.

He couldn't tear his eyes from her as he slowly laid her onto his own bed. How he had imagined this every night as he lay there alone without her.

He slowly kissed down her collarbone, unbuttoning her dress as he began to explore every inch of her pale flesh, covering it in soft kisses. Claire moaned as his stubble brushed against the sensitive skin of her neck, of her nipples. He kissed down farther and farther, toward her navel, as she squirmed against him, desperate for more contact

"Jamie?"

"Hmm?" he said, looking up at her. 

"You are wearing far too much clothing." she kissed him and unbuttoned his shirt. She made quick work of the shirt, it landing on a pile on the floor near the rest of her clothing.

The way Jamie kissed her, his tongue dragging across her sensitive flesh, his large hands knowing where to go, and what to do that would make her feel so good. He made sure she was nice and wet for him, exploring the apex of her thighs with his tongue and fingers as he had those weeks ago. She tasted like heaven, and her voice calling his name was a siren song. He needed it more and more. As she came around his fingers for a second time, she grabbed his shoulder

"Jamie please. I need you." she begged. looking at him. "Please make love to me." 

He stroked his cock a few times, as he stared at her naked body laid out before him on the bed. _She's glorious_.

"Are ye sure?" he asked quietly.

"Positive." he leaned over her, resting his weight on his forearms as he positioned himself at her entrance, looking at her eyes, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

"Ye let me know if I hurt ye or if you need me to stop or anything. " 

"I'm not going to break Jamie."

"Aye I know that lass but I want ye to feel as good as I do." He gazed into her eyes as he rubbed the head of his cock against her a few times, groaning as he felt her wet heat. He pushed forward slowly gauging her reaction, as he slowly entered her inch by inch. 

_God she's so tight_. it took every fiber of him to still his twitching cock. She gazed up at him, and it was clear she was not comfortable. 

"Breathe, mo chride" he urged her, gently kissing her lips. After a moment, he looked at her and moved his hips slowly.

"Do I need to stop?"

She shook her head. " No," she pressed a kiss to his lips. "I'm okay, just go slow." 

And so he did. He slowly drew his hips, rotating them as he re-entered her and repeated it, ever so slightly picking up speed as he continued to pump into her.

His fingers danced over her clit, as he entered her, and somehow her already tight entrance began to tighten even more around him as she came undone once more around him, and he spilled his seed.

He slowly pulled out and kissed her gently, settling beside her in the bed, wrapping his body around her.

She turned toward him. 

"Worth the wait?" she asked with a grin. 

"Claire, you are worth anything and everything. But being with you like this?" he took her hand and kissed it. "Was extraordinary. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and the most wonderful woman I've ever know."

She smiled at him. "Thank you for making it special for me."

'You're welcome, mo chride." 

The two were wrapped in each other, and she watched as Jamie's breathing leveled out, he was falling asleep.

"I love you," she whispered as she stared at him.

He smiled in his sleep, but continued to sleep peacefully.

She herself was at the edge of falling asleep, Jamie pulled her closer when all of a sudden she heard a gunshot, and a child cry.

Both she and Jamie shot up looking at each other.

"Fergus," they said in unison, before rushing to pull clothes on and run out of Jamie's quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> It's my birthday (in less than 2 hours so basically my birthday). Please leave a review as a present?


	7. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was overwhelmed by all of your positive responses and Birthday wishes! I had work yesterday but was able to socially distance with some friends in my yard and had a great dinner with my family. Thank you for all the kind words! I hope to reply to all of them.

Claire had just slipped her dress on and Jamie was still pulling on his shirt when the door burst open.

"Murtagh, whats going on?"

"It's the lad. He's been shot." 

"He's what?" Claire exclaimed. "Take me to him." She quickly slipped on her shoes and ran after the gentleman. Jamie trailing behind them as he adjusted the rest of his uniform. 

She heard his crying before she saw him before she saw the blood. She ran faster and wrapped her arms around Fergus.

"I've got you, darling. You're gonna be okay," Claire pushed the hair back from his forehead and started looking him over, seeing blood coming out of his shoulder. She assessed him. 

"Mama, it hurts." he cried. She froze for a moment. He had called her mama. Her heart ached for the darling boy in her arms. 

"I know, my sweet boy. I know it hurts but the medics and I, are going to take good care of you." She continued her assessment before turning to one of the medics.

"I need clean gauze, saline, and probably some alcohol or betadine. I need to sterilize the area," she said.

"Who put her in charge?" one of them asked.

"She's not wrong, get whatever the fuck she needs." the other said, pushing him away. "Not your first gunshot wound?" he asked.

"Not even close. Do you have an infirmary or hospital ?" 

"Aye. I'll bring the lad there. Let's go." 

\-----

"What happened?" Jamie demanded as he stood before his men, who were standing at attention. 

His men stayed silent, not looking at him in the eye, looking more at the ground. 

"I asked a question," he asked once more, his jaw clenched. "What. Happened." 

"Milord-we were playing," Fergus said through tears. "I..." 

Jamie turned around his face, suddenly softening as he looked to Claire's new dress, now smeared in blood.

"Fergus, I'm not mad at you my lad. Let Claire, take care of you." He ruffled the boy's hair as he was being taken out of the tent by the medic, Claire with them. "Which one of you was playing with a child with a loaded gun?" 

"Sir-" One of the men said. He looked at him up and down. 

"It was an accident." another blurted out

"I would sure hope none of you would intentionally shoot a child." he spat. 

"We were just playing soldiers. He said he wanted to be like us"

"My finger slipped."

"You shouldn't have had ammo in it at all," Jamie yelled at the man. "All ammo is to be locked up in the armory."

"Ye ken how it is on the street, Colonel. It can get bad out there. It was just a little insurance"

"So ye played with a loaded gun and your finger slipped? It bloody slipped?" Jamie had grabbed the soldier by the tie and was yelling in his face.

"Colonel Fraser, I'll handle the lieutenant from here," Murtagh said grabbing his shoulder. 

"Yer lucky," Jamie said as he turned his back, allowing Murtagh to pull him away. "Yer lucky Colonel Fitzgibbons is here to stop me. Because if it were up to me, ye'd be shot too," he yelled at the man as Murtagh brought him out of the tent.

"Jamie, I ken yer worried about the lad. Yer no good in there. Go check on the lad and Claire." 

"Aye."

He ran to the infirmary and found Claire along with the medics.

"Almost done my darling boy," Claire said, as she was stitching his wound shut on one side. "It'll all be done too and then you can rest."

"Is he alright?" Jamie asked.

"Milord. I will be fine." Fergus said dreamily. 

"I'm sure ye will be lad. Yer in very capable hands."

"He was given a small dose of Morphine," Claire explained. "He is very lucky. It was through and through. Barring any complications or infection, he should be good as new in a few weeks." 

Jamie let out a sigh not relief.

"What did you do to the men?"

"I almost killed him. Murtagh took over." Jamie said taking a seat beside Claire. 

"That's good. I wouldn't want you losing your position." 

"He deserves worse than whatever Murtagh'll do but he was right. I needed to be here with the lad. And here with you." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder as she finished applying a bandage to Fergus's shoulder as he started to sleep.

She turned to Jamie and he wrapped an arm around her. 

"Sorry about ruining the dress you got me."

"I'm not worried about yer dress lass." He kissed her forehead. "Thank you for taking care of Fergus."

"I love him as if he were my own," she admitted. "He called me Mama- before when he was hurt. It warmed my heart"

"Ye basically are a mother to him Sassenach," 

"I worry about him, what will he do when you go back home?" _What will we do without you_? she added silently to herself.

"Fergus is a smart lad. But Murtagh and I have been working on papers for him for a while now. I'm trying to adopt him."

"Does he know?"

"I'm afraid to tell him in case it doesna come to pass," he admitted. "But I love that boy if he were my son."

She smiled at him. "He's lucky to have you."

"He's lucky ye were here Sassenach." 

"The medics would have done fine." 

"Aye, but ye kept him calm. Ye took good care of him." 

"I tried." she smiled at him softly and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Do ye want children someday?" Jamie asked. 

"I never really allowed myself to think about it, " Claire admitted. "Being in a war zone, a child is the last thing I'd want to bring into the world. But yes, I think so." she looked at him. "I've thought about it a little more since I've met..." she looked at him, and then back to the boy, stroking his hair. 

"I... I never thought much about it myself until I met ye," he said. "I see ye with Fergus and lass, I want a future. A future with all three of us, with a bairn of our own someday."

"You do?" she asked softly.

"Aye. I love you," he said. "I know we've been together a short time. But ye touch my soul Claire. I've never been so in love with someone or wanted someone so much from the moment I met ye." 

"I love you too," she said, gently pressing a kiss to his lips. "So much." 

He grinned at her and squeezed her hand. "Ye do?"

"I said it last night just as you fell asleep, but I've known for a while," she admitted. 

"I'm glad its not a one-sided thing."

"Never." she kissed him back. "You are the most wonderful man I've ever met James Fraser."

"And you are gonna change the world, Claire." 

He looked at her for a moment before smiling. "I know I'm doing this wrong but... how would you like....?"

"How would I like?"

"I know I should have a ring and should be down on one knee, and that I should be doing this differently, but would you do the honor of coming back with me and being Mrs. Fraser?"

"Yes. Oh my god yes, Jamie yes. I will be your wife."

He stood up and pulled her up so he lifted her up spinning her around, laughing. 

"I love ye so much." he kissed her deeply. "There are so many things I want to share with you. So many places I want to show you." 

"I can't wait."

" I never thought I'd find someone like you here. In the middle of all this craziness. I almost didn't even go to the club that night. Murtagh convinced me to go."

"I'm so glad he did." she kissed him again. 

\---- 

Murtagh came to check on them not long after.

"How's he doing?"

"He'll be alright. Clean shot through and through."

"Good. I'm glad"

"And we should put a rush on his paperwork. It'd be better to get him care back home." Jamie said. "And Start some for the soon to be Mrs. Fraser." 

"This wee fool talked ye into marrying him?" Murtagh asked looking to Claire. 

"He did," Claire beamed at him. "Suppose that makes us family?" 

"Ye already were lass. Congratulations!" he hugged her tight. "Good thing I already started yer paperwork"

"Ye did?" Jamie asked.

"Oh please as if we couldn't see this coming. I knew ye'd marry her from the second ye laid eyes on her. I may have had my doubts but she's a good woman and that's what ye need. And what the lad needs." 

"Ye ken me better than I do myself."

"Aye, ye clotheid. I do. Watch over the boy. Most of the base is up by now because of what happened so I'll go work on expediting that. Ye might need to come to the embassy and sign some paperwork Jamie declaring ye'll marry that lass when we get back."

"That's the plan." Jamie grinned at her and she smiled back. 

The two fell asleep wrapped up in each other in uncomfortable chairs, waking up with sore backs and necks but unbelievably 

Fergus awoke sore but ecstatic to hear of their news. 

"Milord and Milady are finally getting married!"

"Fergus we've only known each other a short while," Claire explained. "Many times people wait a long time to get to know each other before they marry each other. 

"Oui but ye are perfect for each other."

"Aye lad I agree. And together I think the three of us make a perfect family." Jamie proposed.

"What do you mean milord?"

"How would ye like to come home with Claire and me when we leave this place?"

"Really?"

"Of course Fergus. You are already like our son." Claire said.

"I'd love that." the boy beamed at the pair.

"Perfect." Jamie grinned. 

They were a family. And more importantly, the were together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy time. But can the good times last? Keep reading to find out!


	8. Engagement Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? What can I say? The Muse struck on my day off. Hoping to update later this week. Probably Wednesday.

"Why don't ye two go get a wee bit of rest while Fergus sleeps?" Murtagh proposed later that morning. 

She and Jamie found themselves back in Jamie's quarters.

"Could I take a shower, Jamie?"

"Aye of course." he showed her to his bathroom, pulled out some towels for her, showing her how the stubborn tap worked.

He hadn't even left the room yet when she peeled off her dress, the fabric pooling at her feet, her panties dropping seconds later. 

He stared at her, his jaw slack.

"Well aren't you joining me?" she said with a wink before stepping under the steamy spray.

Before Claire could even wet her hair fully, Jamie had joined her in the shower and had her pinned against the wall, kissing her.

"Ye wee minx, tempting me like that."

"What Colonel? I think we're both a bit dirty." she grinned at him, as her hands ran over his body. She grabbed some soap and started washing his body, starting higher up and slowly stroking her way downward.

His gaze burned into her, she could see how much he wanted her and certainly feel it, his erection pressed against her. Her hand stroked his cock with her soaped hands. It was so slick, and he let out a hiss.

"You're very dirty Colonel. I might need to clean you up a bit more," she got on her knees and slowly stroked his cock a few more times, before wrapping her lips around the tip.

"Ah Dhia!" he moaned as she continued to attend to his cock, her tongue swirling around the tip, her hand stroking the remainder of the shaft.

"Claire ye need to stop,"

"Why?" she asked, looking up at him. 

"It feels too good, I'm never gonna last," he said pulling her back up and pressing a kiss to her lips. 

"Is that so?" she asked. She bit her lip looking at him full of desire.

"Aye, ye feel too good lass. I don't know how ye got so good at that but I am not complaining. Now let me get ye cleaned up, mo chridee" 

He took the soap and gently started with her back before rubbing her breasts, eliciting a moan as he brushed over her nipples, taking a moment to relish in her noises. His hands dipped lower and lower to between her legs, already wet and not from the shower.

"Aye my lass, I promise to never leave ye wanting like this."

She whimpered as his hand danced over her sensitive nub. "Please Jamie."

"Do ye want me to make you cum on my fingers?" he asked as he gently plunged one inside of her.

"I need you," she said. 

Within a moment, the tap was turned off and the two were back in Jamie's bed. 

He kissed her hard and she flipped him onto his back and straddled him.

He looked up at her as she rose above him and positioned him at her entrance before sinking down on him.

They both groaned as she started to move her hips, rotating as she moved up and down. 

Jamie's hand grasped her round arse, guiding her up and down on him. She rubbed her clit as she continued to ride him up and down. 

" Christ Sassenach." he moaned "Ye feel too good I'm gonna cum soon," He said as he started sucking on her nipples sitting up, and rubbing her clit for her. Her breathing quickened as her walls tightened down on him and she called his name, he came seconds after her.

"I've created a sex-crazed- fiend," Jamie said as she rolled off of him and curled into his side. 

"Are you upset about it?"

"Not at all." he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too Sassenach. Now rest a bit, Ye have a long day ahead of ye." 

She slept peacefully beside him, waking up a few hours later.

"I'm going to go see Fergus for a bit before I go." She told him.

"Aye, I'll give you a ride back to work," 

"Thank you, love."she kissed as she dressed in her stained dress.

"Ye need to start keeping more clothes here, mo nigghean donn." 

"I'll bring some over tomorrow."

"Good."

"I'm sure the girls will rope us into having an engagement party." 

"I'm sure they will. Whatever you want my love." he kissed her softly. 

\----

He dropped her off outside of dreamland after a quick check on Fergus."

"Hen! I was getting worried about ye-. Oh my god is that blood."

"Fergus was hurt. He got shot last night."

"Did ye not get any then?"

"Don't you care that my son was hurt?"

"Aye of course I do but ye would have said more if it was serious."

Claire glared at Geillis. 

"So did ye?"

"I did 'get some' as you say."

"How was it?"

"Wonderful. It was magical," she said to Geillis. "He made it a very good experience and round two after a shower together was even more enjoyable."

"I'm so glad, Claire." she grinned at her.

"Jamie also asked me to come back with him, and be his wife."

"Stop! Really?"

"He did." 

"Claire, ye better tell me ye said yes. Don't give me any of that 'it's too soon' shite."

"I did. I said yes of course."

"CONGRATULATIONS! LADIES!!! CLAIRES HOOKED HER FELLOW!" 

She was surrounded by the girls all wishing her congrats. 

"We'll have to have a party! A Brunch!"

"We do love brunch." Geillis agreed.

"I told Jamie you guys would want to have one."

"Claire, you're getting out of here, of course, we have to celebrate." 

She prepared for her performance that night and was delighted to see Jamie after her performance.

"Fergus was asking for ye."

"Is he doing okay?"

"He's fine. Just misses his mam," he said with a grin.

"Let me grab some clothes." she headed backstage and did.

\------- 

"Sassenach?" 

"Yes Jamie?" she asked as she finished getting ready to leave his quarters one day and return to Dreamland, after having practically moved in on base.

"Just got something I've been waiting for in the mail," he said, pulling a small box out of his pocket. "I want to do this right." 

"Claire, you are the love of my life. You never fail to amaze me. Ye are the kindest, most intelligent and most bonny lass I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Ye are everything to me. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

He knelt before her and opened the box revealing a beautiful silver band, with several small stones.

"You know my answer is always yes Jamie." she smiled at him as he slid the ring on her finger, and kissed him. 

"It's beautiful Jamie.

"I got my sister to rush it to me. It was me mam's. She left it to me when she passed and said that I'd always find the right girl to give it to. And its ye Sassenach. Yer the right girl." 

\--------

A few days later, Geillis and the rest of the girls of dreamland hosted their engagement party at the club.

The girls decorated the club, and Jamie and some of the officers he was friendly with came to celebrate their vow.

"Thank ye for coming to celebrate us, Claire and I may have met in an unconventional manner but from the moment I laid eyes on this woman, I knew she was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Slainte!" 

"To Jamie and Claire" They toasted, drinking mimosas and eating brunch food. The couple was lost in each other most of the time.

"I'll be right back, Sassenach," Jamie told her a little later, "just taking Fergus to the restroom.

She found herself lost in a conversation with Geillis. 

A man entered the club. 

"That doesn't look like one of the officers," Geillis said. "Though he's not bad looking. Do you ken him?" Geillis asked.

Claire froze.

"You're here." the man said looking at her. "I've finally found you." He grabbed her arms, and she pulled away. "I've been looking for you for months Claire." 

"Don't touch me." she pleaded.

"Don't be like that darling. Come back home with me."

"My home was destroyed." she said. "I've built a new life here."

"Amongst these losers and whores? Who are you kidding Claire? You're far better than this."

"Hey!" Some of the girls glared at him.

"I will kindly ask ye to take yer hands off of my lady." 

"This girl is mine!" 

"Who do you think ye are to come in storming in here like this?"

"Her fiancé." 

"That's my ring she wears on her finger. Back off" Jamie pushed him back. 

"Please stop." Claire pleaded with them.

"You've sold yourself to some brute?"

"Frank ,you have no right to be here. I'm not some prize that you can claim. I'm not the same girl that I was when I was promised to be your wife all those years ago."

"Your father promised you to me." he implored. 

"My parents and Uncle died in the bombings the week after you joined the revolutionaries. The week that they bombed our village. Any promises he made, died when he died." 

Frank suddenly pulled a gun out. 

Claire heard her friends scream, and rush out, taking Fergus with them. She stood strong, Jamie pulling his own on the other man. 

"Claire, let's get out of here."

"Go on," she stared at him. "Are you really going to shoot me Frank? I'm not going with you."

"You're still mine Claire. You know that."

"Not anymore." she shook her head, "Frank you need to leave." 

"You're mine until you die." 

"Get the hell out of here. The lady asked you to leave." Jamie said.

"This city is dead, and he will be too." Frank glared at them. "You're going to be cursed Claire, breaking your father's words."

He flipped a table, storming out as glasses broke on the floor around them.

Jamie looked Claire up and down.

"Are ye alright Mo chridee?" 

She nodded. "I'm fine... I'm sorry about -"

"Dinna fasch" he pushed a curl back, tucking it behind her ear. "I'm just glad we're alright and no one was hurt. Who was that man?"

"That was... That was Frank. I told you I was promised to a friend of my uncles and that he wasn't kind."

"I'm so sorry my love." he kissed her forehead. "Yer safe with me." 

"I'm sorry I have baggage."

"Claire, ye ken I love ye with my whole heart. I Dinna care about yer past. Yer my future." 

"And you are mine." she kissed him softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your reviews! I'm overwhelmed by your responses! Please continue to review and keep reading!


	9. Blood of my Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this chapter in before going to work today! Surprised myself! Hopefully you like it!

As the weeks continued to pass, Claire frequently found herself in Jamie's arms, in his bed, filled with him, which she had decided being in his arms like that was the most wonderful feeling world.

"Does this ever stop?" Claire asked one night as she lay against his bare chest?

"Does 'what' ever stop Sassenach?"

"The wanting you," she smiled at him. 

He brushed a curl back. "I certainly hope not. I can't get enough of ye."

"Is this normal, what we have between us?"

"I don't know. But I only wish everyone could be so lucky." he kissed her softly and held her close to him.

However, their time together outside of the bedroom was growing less and less.

Jamie and his men were being frequently called to break up disputes, as the front lines of the war drew closer and closer to the city.

"I'm worried," he said, one night as they laid beside each other, Jamie too tired to do more than hold her.

"About?" she turned to face him. 

"They're gonna be pulling us out sooner than I initially anticipated." 

"Is that so bad? I worry about your safety," she said stroking his cheek.

"Tis not that-, I just worry about whether our paperwork will be in order, to get ye out. I don't want to leave ya Sassenach."

"Fergus and I will figure something out while we wait for it come through. I'll dance more at the club." 

"I don't want ye to have to do that. I'm to be yer husband. I want to provide for ye."

"And you do. You're getting us out of here Jamie. If we have to manage a bit on our own, we will." she kissed him. "I trust that you will do everything in your power to get us out." 

"Aye, I'd walk through fire for ye."

"Well don't do that. I don't know too much about burn care," she said with a grin, snuggling into him even more. "Now rest soldier, I'm sure you have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow."

"Aye. Sweet dreams, mo chridee." 

"Sweet dreams Jamie."

She didn't sleep well at all that night. She tossed and turned, wondering about how she really would make it without Jamie. she had become so entangled with him, it was hard to separate her life from theirs together. She could dance more at the club, but would there even be soldiers at the club to pay for her dances? Would she need to do more healing work? She'd need to get more supplies if that were the case, and maybe even an office She couldn't work out of the back door of a brothel forever. But there was no point in worrying about it now. It was the middle of the night, the work could be done in the morning. 

While Jamie was away, Claire found herself spending more and more time with their son. She was grateful that his shoulder was healing rather well, and while the range of motion was slightly diminished, she knew he would be back to normal in no time. They frequently played outside, running around playing tag, and other games. She taught him his letters, and got him back on track with learning, having had no formal education. He would be a well-learned man just like his father, she decided, and so she spent hours reading whatever books she could find to him, getting him used to seeing the pattern of letters on the pages.

She glowed with pride when he successfully read a children's book on his own and she and Jamie celebrated by taking him out for ice cream.

She thought she had spotted Frank in the street, and nearly panicked, but Jamie wrapped his arms around her, whispered sweet nothings in her ear, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and everything was going to be alright. 

\----

"Murtagh, how are our papers coming along?"

"Not sure, everything seems to have been sliding to a grinding halt." he looked at Jamie. "I ken, yere concerned about the lad and yer wee bride." 

"There's talk of pulling us out any day now, ye ken? I don't want to leave them behind."

"I'll see if I can pull a few strings," Murtagh said. 

"Would it be faster if she were my wife?"

"What are ye thinking?"

"I ken there's not a Catholic Church here, but what if we handfast? I ken all it does is give ye a year to actually get Married but -"

"It might not hold but if ye love her and want her to be yer wife, it surely couldn't hurt to make a promise like that." 

\-----

"Sassenach?" he called out as he was getting dressed. 

"Yes, love?" she asked, as she came from his kitchenette, coffee cup in hand. 

"How'd ye feel about Marrying me?"

"I already said yes." she turned to him. "Both times you asked. Do you think I changed my mind?" 

"I mean now. I don't mean when ye come with me back home. I mean here and now. I don't want to wait for ye to be my wife."

She looked at him, and set down her cup of coffee on the nightstand beside them, and took his tie in hand, and started to straighten it. 

"I think being Mrs. Fraser sooner sounds like a grand idea." she grinned at him.

"Really?"

"Really." she kissed him. "Jamie, of course, I'll marry you, whether its here, at Lallybroch, or in Timbuktu. I'm with you, and that's the important part." 

He kissed her soundly, his hands pulling her body against him. "I love ye, Claire, so much I can scarcely breathe."

"So how do we do this? Do we find a justice of the peace or ?" 

"Where I'm from, we have this tradition called Handfasting," He explained the process to hers. 

"Do we need a witness?"

"No, but we can have some if you'd like."

"Murtagh, Geillis, and Fergus," she said. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not lass." 

"Tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow."

\----

She rushed back to Dreamland. 

"Geillis!" 

"Hen, it's so early," Geillis whined. 

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

"You're what?"

"Jamie and I are getting handfast."

"Hand what?"

"Its a tradition from his homeland."

"Well, that's lovely." Her face softened. 

"Will you be a witness for me, as my maid of honor?"

"Of course hen. Now let's get ye a dress." 

"Its such short notice, I don't need anything special." 

"Hen, it's yer wedding. The girls and I can put something together." 

"Dinna fash. We'll take care of it, Louise and Mary are excellent at Sewing."

And they did come up with a beautiful white gown for her. embroidered with some flowers.

"You did this in one day?"

"I started on it a few weeks ago," Louise confessed. "When you first got engaged, because I knew it wouldn't be long before you needed it.

"Thank you, Louise, it's beautiful," she said admiring the gown. 

Jamie arrived in his dress uniform, looking handsome as ever.

"Ye look beautiful, Sassenach. Ready? he asked her, offering her his arms.

"To promise myself to you?" she looked at him. "Always."

Murtagh came with him, a dirk in hand and a piece of cloth in the other. 

"Ye might want to take a step back, I don't want ye to bleed on your dress." 

"Bleed?" 

"Aye it's a blood oath," he said. "Ye still sure?"

"Still? A little blood never scared me before," she said, offering him her hand, he sliced his wrist and then quickly did hers. She felt the sharp sting but stood firm.

"Repeat after me," 

_"Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean, is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh.  
Is leatsa mo bhodhaig, chum gum bi sinn ‘n ar n-aon.  
Is leatsa m’anam gus an criochnaich ar saoghal._

The vowels didn't feel quite right on her tongue, and probably didn't sound correct, but she didn't care. She could see how much love Jamie had for her in his eyes. 

Murtagh bound their wrists together. 

"Ye may kiss your bride." he declared. 

Jamie pulled her close and kissed her deeply, dipping her back. One of Jamie's men snapped a photo of them. 

"Ew." They heard Fergus exclaim, causing them both to laugh, breaking apart to applause from their few witnesses. 

Claire quickly bandaged their cuts.

"The words.... what does it mean?"

"Aye, I forget ye don't speak the language sometimes. It kind of rhymes in English." 

> " _'Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone._
> 
> _I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One._

> _I give ye my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done.'"_

"It's beautiful," she said. 

"Aye but not as bonny as you, my wife." he grinned brighter. "I can't wait to call ye that every day for the rest of my life."

"And I love calling you my husband." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always love your reviews! Can't wait to tell you more of this story!


	10. Nightmare

Married life didn't feel much different to the new Colonel and Mrs. Fraser. They were blissfully happy, wrapped up in each other, and in their son as often as the could be. 

They made love often and spoke of the future. Jamie leaving the military once they were back home, Claire taking classes to be a doctor or nurse, depending on who would take her. About the family, they hoped to continue building together.

"How many children?" she asked one day.

"As many as ye'll give me Sassenach. Fergus would be a braw big brother." 

"He would be," she said. "Any names?"

"I always said I'd like to name my son Brian, after me dad. Jenny wanted it, but I had called it first. In the meantime, I think we should keep practicing for when we get back." He captured her lips in his, and she fell under his spell once more. 

\----

Jamie was away from base more and more. Claire worried about him, but she trusted that he would find his way back home to her, to them. Claire did her best to distract Fergus by teaching him daily. Fergus was learning more and more, and she discovered that he had quite the gift of gab, as well as a knack for mathematics. Perhaps when they got out of their own war-torn country, he would be a businessman or a lawyer. Whatever he wanted to be, as long as the lad was happy.

He still played frequently with the other soldiers when he could, with the firm rule that no guns be involved, as per both her and Jamie's insistence. 

One morning, she awoke feeling quite nauseous.

"Are ye alright my love?" Jamie asked as he saw her sitting beside the toilet, sinking down beside her.

"I think I ate some bad food last night with the girls at the club. Something just didn't sit right," she said hand resting on her stomach.

"Are ye sure ye're fine? Ye look a tinge green." he kissed her forehead, wiping her brow with a damp cloth.

"I'm sure. Before you go, could you give me a lift back to the club or perhaps ask Murtagh? I have my ginger tea there that will probably help with my stomach."

"Aye, I'll drop both ye and Fergus off. I'm going to be at the Embassy today checking on some things, getting some further instructions., and hopefully hear about yer papers."

"I hope it's good news. The city is getting more dangerous by the day." 

"Aye. I don't actually want to leave ye at the club, but I feel better ye're there than alone on base."

"I'll be fine, Jamie," she said resting her forehead against his. 

"Ye better be," he pressed a kiss to her lips. "I'm leaving ye a pistol and my dirk. Just in case there are looters." 

"Has there been a lot of looting going on?"

"Not yet but I always worry for ye, Sassenach."

"I'm sure Fergus will take excellent care of me today, won't you Fergus?" she asked spying the lad's curls from the doorway

"Yer to wait on yer mam, hand and foot, ye hear? She's not feeling her best"

"Yes, Da." Fergus nodded vigorously. "She vill want for nothing today, milord." 

"Good lad," Jamie ruffled his hair. 'Grab some things yer headed to the club."

"Yes, milord." 

The three set off toward the club not long after.

"I love you," Claire said, giving Jamie a quick kiss. 

"Love ye too, my wife." he grinned. "I'll be back later." 

\--------------------

She and Fergus spent the day cuddled in bed, she read to him, and as promised he made sure that she didn't want for anything, he made her tea, and drew her some pictures which she proudly hung on the wall.

"You are quite the artist, Fergus. These are beautiful."

"Thank ye Maman."

As the morning progressed, she was feeling much better, and she almost took Fergus to the market for lunch when she received a phone call at the club. 

"Sassenach, I'm at the embassy. They want to interview ye and Fergus. I ken you're not feeling yere best but-."

"I'm fine Jamie, I'm feeling better already. Fergus and I will make our way down there," she promised. "We'll see you soon?"

"Aye, See ye soon lass. Love ye both." 

"Love you too." she smiled as she hung up the phone.

"Field trip to go see your Da."She grabbed him by the hand, and the two walked toward the embassy. She suddenly heard a large boom and a few screams. Perhaps it was a car backfiring? she tried to convince herself. But she knew whatever it was, it didn't sound good. 

"Do you smell anything Fergus?" she asked, suddenly feeling a burning in her nostrils.

"It smells like smoke." He said. Claire urged him to cover his mouth and nose with the fabric of his shirt, as best he could as the smell got stronger. She suddenly heard the sound of helicopters flying overhead and sirens. 

"This cannot be good." They scurried closer to the embassy, Fergus close tucked against her side

Claire fought the strong urge to scream when she saw the embassy up in flames. The flag of the revolutionaries hanging above it.

"Where's Da?" Fergus asked wide-eyed.

"We need to get out of here Fergus," she said. Quickly, pressing the two of them in an alleyway. She turned her head to see plenty of troops, but not the ones she wanted. Not the ones that Jamie commanded

"Who are those men?" Fergus whispered.

"Those are the men your father has been fighting against," she explained quietly. "They seem to have overpowered the embassy. The area is not safe. Stay by my side," she begged him. 

Together the two of them snuck back through the alleyways onto the main road and quickly found their way back toward the base. However, once they arrived, the base was barricaded.

"Why are they keeping us out milady?"

"I think they're afraid to let people in." She saw huge helicarriers flying overhead."

"They're airlifting the men out. We need to get aboard that plane."

"I'm the wife of a Colonel! Please let me through!" She called out to one of the soldiers. 

"No more natives!"

"Please! My son is here with us. We're working on our papers. Get Colonel Fraser or Colonel Fitzgibbons! They know us!"

"Ma'am there's no leadership, anyone who wasn't killed in the bombing was airlifted out back home or to the hospitals."

Claire's heart dropped. Which was he? How could she find out? Her heart was pounding wildly out of her chest.

"Please! Tell me who to talk to get information." She grabbed onto the gate. 

"I SAID GET BACK!" the man pushed her backward and she fell hitting the pavement with a groan. 

"Maman!"

"Fergus, please help me up." The young boy offered his arm and helped her to her feet. She brushed herself off. 

"Maman, why won't they let us onto the base?"

"I don't know lovey. Let's head back to the club to re-organize." 

They carefully made their way back to the club, Claire grateful that she had the dirk Jamie had left with her that morning but scared to actually have to use it.

The windows were destroyed, Graffiti littered the bricks. She poked her head in, both scared and thankful that she didn't see anyone. She stepped carefully trying to avoid the broken glass on the ground. 

"GEILLIS!" she called as they came in. "LOUISE! Master Raymond!" she yelled. She looked around her at all the destruction. Glasses from the bar, shattered on the ground, curtains torn, tables broken.

She found her way backstage, and was thankful her medicine bag had been untouched.

"Where are we going Maman?" 

"I'm not sure yet Fergus. I'm not sure where to bring you that's safe. We are going to figure this out together okay?"

"Claire?" she heard a voice say.

"Geillis!" Claire hugged the redhead. "What happened?"

"I came to look for ye. I heard about the bombings at the embassy and knew you were headed there. I think everyone got out okay. At least there are no bodies."

"Oh my god." Claire said. "What is this place coming to?"

"I ken a place I think ye can get help." 

"Where?"

"Back before I worked here I was promised to be a nun," Geillis said, Claire, raising an eyebrow. "A worldly nun who had experienced many things before committing herself to Gad that's all."

"I didn't say anything."

"Ye didn't have to," she smirked back at the girl. "But there's a cloister not too far. I'm sure they could use a healer, and I'm sure they'll be fine offering sanctuary to ye, and the bairn. A reformed whore? eh we'll see about that" 

'What about you?"

"I can turn a trick. Been doing it all my life. Ye don't need to worry about me, Claire."

"Geillis, please. We should stay together."

"I'll be fine. But I'll show ye the way. Grab yer things. We should head out during the night. 

"Fergus, rest a little darling. We're going to be leaving later tonight."

"Yes, milady." 

\---

Claire and Geillis found some unbroken stools and sat at the bar, Claire too wound up to have a drink. 

"Did ye find yer we Fox?" Geillis asked. 

"No," she shook her head. "He was at the embassy. We were supposed to meet him. I don't know if he's dead." she sucked in a breath. "I don't know if he's alive or dead. And I can't help him either way."

"If he's alive, he'll find a way back to ye. I'm sure of it." Geillis said. 

"I hope so. How will he find us though?"

"There's always a way," Geillis said rubbing her back. "Once things calm down, ye'll be able to reapply for papers hopefully."

"Hopefully."

In the cover of night, the two women and the boy snuck through the city, walking as fast as they could, carrying what little they had left. 

She knocked at the door of the nunnery, holding in a breath.

"Heavens child it's quite late."

"Mother Hildegard," Geillis grinned. "Good to see ye."

"Geillis," she greeted. "Never expected to see you return to our walls." 

"I'm not here for me, Mother. This is Claire, and her son Fergus. Claire's a healer. She could use some more instruction from ye and she'll be very helpful. Please take care of them."

"A healer?" the Mother asked her. 

"Yes I was the healer in my village before it was destroyed, and I've been working out of the back of a club. My place of lodging and my work have both been destroyed. I had emigration papers in the works to go to Scotland, but they bombed the embassy if they find my name or my son's they'll kill us both."

"Come in then. We'll get ye some supper at least."

Fergus nearly fell asleep eating so Claire with a little assistance from Geillis carried him to a bed.

"I'm sorry you didn't relax all day Maman."

"You did so well taking care of me, " she said smoothing back his hair. "Your da would be proud."

"He would be?"

"Of course my lad." she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Get some rest." she got up to turn off the light 

"Will we ever see him again?"

She let out a shaky breath. "I'm not sure Fergus. But I _still_ have faith that perhaps we will be reunited somehow."

"Goodnight," he said.

As she walked to the other side of the doorway and closed it behind her. Claire slid down against it, head resting on her knees, hugging herself, and for the first time that day, she let herself cry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you mad? I did say that it was based on "Miss Saigon". Hope to update soon! Love your comments!


	11. Everything Changes

Jamie awoke to the sound of a repetitive beep. His whole body was sore, his back particular ached fiercely, and he felt so week.

"Ye ken where ye are soldier?" a voice asked.

"No, but I'm guessing a hospital." he grumbled.

"Aye, yere back home. Ye we're badly injured in the bombings at the embassy. They airlifted ye to Germany and then home. Your back was vthe fery badly damaged by some fallen debris. Yere lucky to be able to have function of your legs "

Jamie tried to sit up but struggled. 

"Dinna fasch, We're looking into the whereabouts of Claire for you. Ye've been calling out for her" The Doctor said empathetically. "Ye need more rest." 

"For who?"

\-----

Claire awoke feeling lonely. She had become so used to the ever-present, very warm Scott that she shared her bed with. She quickly arose, and headed to check on Fergus who was in a room down the hall.

"Good morning, Claire," Mother Hildegard greeted.

"Good morning. Thank you again for letting us stay last night. We weren't really sure where to go."

"The church is often a safeguard for those who are in need. Did you grow up religious child?"

"No, but I'll admit, I've ways been curious. My husband is Catholic."

"And the lad?"

"We adopted him earlier this year. Or at least we're trying to." she admitted. "He sort of adopted us, and I count my blessings every day that he's in my life." 

"Has he been baptized?"

"I'm not sure. But I'd like him to be taught the ways. I'm sure Jamie would too."

"Well surely instruct him, and you if you'd like."

"Thank you," Claire nodded. "I'm grateful always for the opportunity to learn. Fergus is just learning to read."

"Not to worry, we'll get him up to speed. Geillis said you were a healer. I myself run a clinic. If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate your assistance."

"I'd be happy to," Mother Hildegard smiled at her. 

"I'll let you see to your son. Please join us for breakfast." 

"Thank you Mother." 

She gently shook Fergus awake a few minutes later.

"A few more minutes Maman, "

She cuddled against the boy, slowly stroking his hair.

"It's time for breakfast darling." she said looking at him. She got him up slowly and led him to the other room. 

She had taken two bites of her eggs, when suddenly the entire concept of eggs was unappetizing and she rushed to the restroom to empty her stomach.

"Maman, are you sick still?" Fergus asked. 

"I guess I am," she said wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand.

"Twice in two days?" Geillis asked coming up behind them. 

"Yes," Claire acknowledge. "It's been a bit of a whirlwind.

"Only in the morning?"

"Geillis, you aren't suggesting-"

"Could you be?"

"Could she be what?" Fergus asked.

"Claire when were your last courses?"

"Oh my god." And with that she promptly fainted.

\-----

She awoke to Mother Hildegard, waving smelling salts in front of her nose.

"She's fine. Just shocked." Geillis insisted.

"Fainting isn't normal Geillis."

"I'm pregnant." Claire said, looking to Geillis. "How did I not know? I'm a healer for gods sake."

"You've been a little preoccupied, hen." she helped her to her feet." 

"How far along?" Mother Hildegard 

"I'd need to look at a calendar," she shook her head. "But I'm guessing two months?" 

"Ye still have time then to decide."

"Decide?"

"You have the herbs." Geillis said. "That ye give to the girls."

"Geillis." Mother Hildegard chided. "Let the child breathe." 

"She has time, but not that much time." Geillis said. 

"Geillis, if I'm right about how far along I am, I'm at the point where if I did that, I risk bleeding out myself. But I couldn't even if I could, it's Jamie's child."

"I love you Claire but think about what yer'e doing." Geillis said.

"I know its not ideal but- we had discussed having children. This was not the plan, but what can I do?"

"You will not be the first expectant mother to grace our halls Claire, but we are here to support you." 

\--------------------

"Jamie?" a woman voice asked. 

"Jenny." he breathed. 

"Brathair, ye gave me quite the scare." she said. "Ye promised me ye wouldn't die."

"I kept my promise." he said with a small chuckle.

"Murtagh, looked out for ye?"

"Always."

"And what about this girl ye always wrote of?"

"Who?"

"Ye Kenna remember?" Jenny's face changed.

"No, honestly anything after leaving for the wars a bit fuzzy."

"Oh Jamie...." She sat beside him and held her hand. "Ye had a bad head injury into addition to the back injury. They weren't sure what the extent would be till ye awoke. Murtagh's been here with ye though. He's been by your side everyday." 

"How long?"

"It's been three weeks. Ye we're in a coma. I was so scared."

"I'm sorry Jen." 

"Ye've got to meet your nephew. Not allowed to die without seeing yer namesake."

\-----

Claire quickly made herself a home working at the clinic with Mother Hildegard and the other sisters. Even Geillis stayed for the most part close to the convent, helping as she could. Claire's small bump began to grow and grow, but she didn't let it stop her from helping do all that she could for the people walk through the door of the clinic. 

As the months went on, Fergus became more at home amongst the sisters, finding a place in their choir as a soprano. Claire couldn't help but smile seeing her son so happy, so free. They were sheltered from the revolution inside of the convent's walls and he was growing, playing, and learning. 

She still gazed longingly at the one picture she had of her and Jamie from her wedding, which was tucked inside of her medicine bag.

"I miss Da." Fergus said one day, as he saw her gazing at the picture.

"I do too darling with my whole heart."

"I hope he finds us soon. He'll want to meet ze babe." 

"I'm sure he will." Her hand rested oner her protruding belly. Fergus hugged her belly and rubbed it often, talking to his future sibling. It made her ache for Jamie, picturing how he would be doing the same, wrapping arms around her, talking to her, and to the babe. 

She had found solace in prayer at night with the sisters. Praying for some kind of divine intervention, for a sign that he was even alive that she should keep looking. 

Geillis acted as a sort of liaison going out of the walls of the Convent to see what was going on. The base that had once been home to Jamie, Claire and Fergus had been overrun by revolutionaries, trying to start a further coup. She would be unable to get information there. The embassy was still blown to smithereens.

"If he's alive, I'm sure he'll find you." Geillis said.

"But that's a big if, Geillis. You saw the embassy burning. You saw how much pure and utter destruction there was."

"Aren't ye the one telling that boy of yours to have faith? Faith that he'll find you?"

"Do you know how hard it is? Of course I want to believe that but I have to be realistic. It's been six months and I haven't heard a word from him. He doesn't even know that he's going to be a father. But I still believe he'll find me somehow. How could God be so unkind and give me him only to take him away?"

\---------------

Jamie slowly regained his strength, every day walking with a stronger step, farther and with the help of a physical therapist was almost back to his normal self.

His memory, however, did not seem to have the same returning effect.

In his dreams, he saw a beautiful woman, a brown-haired lass and when he looked at her, he could feel his heart near burst. But maybe it was just a reward, for going through this hell. 

He was walking through the town one day.

"Colonel Fraser," he heard a voice say, he turned to see a blonde woman pushing a stroller with two children in it behind him.

"Can I help ye mistress?"

"I'm Corporal MacKimmie's widow. He was in your battalion."

"I'm sorry for ye loss Misstress MacKimmie He was a good man, we lost far too many of them over there."

"And for what?" she scoffed.

"I dunno ken anymore," he said sadly.

"I'm Laoghaire," she smiled at him sweetly.

"Call me Jamie." 

"Will ye join us for lunch?" she grinned. "The girls and I were just headed down the street to the pub."

"Aye, thank ye very much." 

And soon the two fell into a somewhat shallow but easy relationship. Jamie was looking for something to believe in, and perhaps taking care of these two girls who had lost their father, and their mother.

Jamie saw a therapist, and sometimes, he swore he started to have memories of the war, of a young boy, but he didn't reach further into it. It hurt too much, and he's sure there must have been a reason he had forgotten.

The months passed, he proposed to Laoghaire, unable to find his mothers ring to give to her. Ready to start a new phase in his life. 

\----------

"I can't believe the lad is gettin married." Murtagh shook his head.

"What about his wife?" Jenny asked Murtagh. "I Dinna like this blonde lass he's taken to. He doesna sound as happy as he did when he was with Claire. He wrote about her so much in his letters and I ken I'm a harsh judge but she has to be better than this." 

"I Dinna care for her either. She's a lass and Jamie needs a woman like Claire. I've been searching for her." Murtagh sighed. "I'm trying all of my contacts. But what good is it if he doesn't even ken who she is." 

"She has to be better than this little viper." Jenny turned to him. "Can ye please talk some sense into him?" 

"Anytime I try and mention the war he shies away. He doesna want to remember."

\----------

The day Claire gave birth Fergus refused to leave her side, despite her insisting that he probably did not want to see the miracle of life at such a young age. 

"I'm not leaving your side, Maman. Da would want me to be here with you."

She did her best not to squeeze the life out of the poor boy's hands as she pushed and pushed her child into the world, Geillis beside her the whole time. 

The moment she heard the baby cry, she felt like everything changed. She shed tears as Mother Hildegard stood and carried the small bundle to her.

"It's a girl." The little girl cried until she looked up at Claire and her big brother with her big blue eyes, and her father's red hair.

"She looks like milord. She's so little."

"She does. She has his hair," she said, more tears falling as she thought of her husband."What should we call her?" Claire looked to Fergus. 

He smiled at the little girl.

"Faith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is where our plot starts to diverge a bit. I hope you keep reading! Love your reviews always!


	12. Confrontation

She awoke to the cry of her daughter, and she hushed her as she lowered the top of her shift, to feed her darling girl. She looked down and hummed to her a lullaby.

"You are so beautiful, you look just like your father," she said stroking the wee babe's cheek. "You smile in your sleep just like him. I wish you had gotten to meet him. I'm sure he'd sing to you in his mother tongue, but I'm afraid you'll be stuck with me and the sisters."

Having a village of nuns to dote on Faith was a godsend. How could she ever thank them for all that she did for her? She still found the time to spend at the clinic and to feed her daughter. 

Fergus was learning so much and she couldn't be more proud of how fast he had learned. There was a local school nearby, and she was hopeful by the following semester, he may be able to join his peers.

She missed Jamie in the quiet moments. She tried to ignore it but when the day that would have been their first anniversary of marriage came, she found herself alone in the chapel and far from the clinic. She prayed, but mostly she cried, thinking of the man that had given her so much and was now so far away. Alive or dead, she still didn't know. 

"Oh god, I'm not sure where to begin but please let him find me somehow, let Jamie meet his daughter, let him watch Fergus grow." 

"I hope he hears yer prayer Claire," Geillis said. 

\--------------

"Are ye sure ye ken what ye're gettin myself into laddie?" Murtagh asked Jamie as he straightened his tie for his engagement party

"Yes Murtagh, I'm sure. I'm positive." 

"But what about Claire? Ye canna do this, yer- married"

"I Dinna even ken who she is. Why do ye keep talking about her?" 

"Because she was yer wife for gods' sake, Jamie. Ye loved her."

"I love Laoghaire."

"Ye love the idea of being happy cuz ye haven't been the same since the war. But having something warm to stick yer cock into, is not the answer. Ye don't need to replace the family ye built there with a new one. Ye need to keep working with that therapist of yours.

"I ken what I'm doing."

"Jamie I saw ye on your last wedding day. Ye did not look like this." 

"I Dinna want to think about that awful place. I want to move on." 

\------------------------------------

"We gather here to celebrate the blessing of Faith as she is baptized before God's light."

Mother Hildegard baptized Faith Geillis Fraser, presenting her to the congregation. "May your light so shine before others so that they may see your good works," she said as she lit a candle and carried her through the congregation. 

"Claire if you would read the blessing you have chosen for Faith." 

"May you face all challenges that come to you as a person of integrity,

May you continue to bring great joy to all those who come to know you.

May beauty delight you and happiness uplift you,

May wonder fulfill you and love surround you.

May your step be steady and your arm be strong,

May your heart be peaceful and your word be true.

May you seek to learn, may you learn to live.

May you live to love, and may you love - always." 

Claire was congratulated by many, and Faith was blessed by many others.

At the end of the night, as she laid Faith down to sleep, Claire broke down and cried. 

"Mama, why are you sad?"

"I just miss your father that's all Fergus." 

Suddenly she heard a boom from outside. She tried to ignore it but it was impossible, she laid the girl down to 

"Claire, there's been an accident down in the city, they need medical assistance."

"Fergus, watch after your sister." She bent 

"Sister Tabitha will help."

Claire somehow felt more comfortable in the field tending to injured soldiers and civilians than she did lying alone in her bed. She worked through the night, stitching up wounds, applying bandages, wrapping up broken injuries, and popping dislocations back into place. 

She was exhausted when she got back to her quarters but checked one last time on the sleeping Faith and Fergus who were thankfully fast asleep. She pressed a kiss to both of their heads and was headed to the washroom down the hall when she spotted him.

Her blood ran cold. 

"Missed me Claire?"

"Frank," she gasped. 

"I knew life would bring us back together. When I set off the bomb outside the convent, I thought I might find you. I heard rumors of La Dame Blanch finding the light at a convent."

"If you wanted to find me, I'm sure there were other avenues you could have explored." 

"Yes but none were quite as fun."

She gulped. "What is it that you want Frank?" she decided upon. "Are you injured? I'll gladly take a look at your injuries."

"No," he shook his head. "I want you to reconsider my offer. After all, fate has brought us back together."

"Fate?" she asked. "I think you just admitted your own hand in it." 

"Claire, come I'm becoming a leader in the government. It's such a success." 

"Well, congratulations Frank. I'm sure you're very proud." 

"It would be a much sweeter victory with you on my arm. Honor your father's vow, Marry me."

"I can't honor my father's vow, Frank. I pray that he'll forgive me. What you want now from me, are words I can't say. I can't live lying to you." 

"Don't speak too soon Claire."

"Frank, I'm already married, I made a vow once. I can't break it."

"You've gone mad Claire if you think that Scottish brute is coming back for you. He's gone or dead Claire. He doesn't care about you."

"You're wrong," she said. 

"Claire, I can take away all the shame. All you need to do is say yes." He pushed her against the wall, her wrists pinned. 

"Frank... I can't."

Suddenly the baby cried. Her eyes immediately darted toward the baby's room. 

"I wasn't aware the convent had an orphanage. Suppose I should take a peak." 

"Don't!" she yelled.

But Frank had already opened the door to Faith and Claire's chamber.

"Shhh." He gently stroked Faith's cheek.

"Don't touch her." She spat at him.

"You whored to make this kid, Claire."

"That isn't what I did. Don't touch her! Frank, please. I'll do whatever you want please-"

"You have to show which side you are actually on. You'll see when you're my wife Claire. This child would brand you a whore for life. There's no alternative. She cannot live." He reached into the crib and continued to gently stroke the baby, pulling a knife out from his side.

"FRANK STOP IT!" 

And then she heard the shot and watched as the red bloomed from Frank's chest.

She turned to see her son beside her, Jamie's pistol in hand, shaking.

"Fergus." 

"I couldn't let him hurt my sister."

She picked up Faith and left Frank lying in a pool of his own blood, pulling Fergus outside of the room.

"You saved your sister, you are a very brave lad. Your father would be proud."

"But I killed a man."

"Are the insurgents coming closer? What was that ruckus?" Mother Hildegard came and asked seeing Fergus with a gun in hand.

"I'm sorry Mother Hildegard. He was going to hurt Faith. He had a knife," Fergus said beginning to cry. 

"Shhh, defending your family is not a sin my lad." Mother Hildegard said. 

She and Claire met eyes. Claire got Fergus settled and carried Faith with her 

"This is not good," Mother Hildegard said.

"I'm so sorry. He followed me back from the bombing. It was a diversion to get me out of the convent and find me."

"I don't care about what he did but we need to get you and your children out of here. The sisters and I will take care of the body. But it's not safe here for you."

"Where can we go?"

"Pack your things. I have an idea."

\-------------------------------------------------------------

It was days and days on the train, and a few days on the boat before with her son and daughter nestled at her side, but eventually forged paper from Sister Agatha in hand, they made it to Scotland. 

Claire nervously handed the papers along every step of the way, terrified that someone would see right through them. After making their way through the screening, they found themselves outside the train station only to see an older gentleman, and a young boy with him.

"Reverend Wakefield?"

"Aye, you must be Claire. Please hop in, I'm delighted to have you here."

"I appreciate your hospitality on such short notice-"

"Not to worry child-, Mrs. Graham, my housekeeper is so happy that we are sponsoring someone to become the town Doctor. When I heard from the mother herself, I knew it was a chance we couldn't pass up."

In just a few short weeks, she would be starting medical training in Inverness, in exchange for helping take care of the Reverend and his son, and the promise to stay in the area and practice medicine for at least five years, courtesy of a scholarship and some calls made by Mother Hildegard.

Mrs. Graham showed them to their rooms, after a quick meal and baths for herself and the children, scrubbing away the grime from their adventure here, she collapsed into bed. 

\----------------------------

Mrs. Graham showed her the way to the local grocer, where she picked up some groceries and was looking at various types of formula.

"Just switching over?" a voice asked.

She turned to see a short dark-haired woman with a baby balanced on her hip looking at her.

"Yes, I'm afraid I'll be a bit busier than I had been previously, and might need to supplement."

"My bairn likes this one." She pointed to a container. "My milk's let up a bit with another wee one on the way."

"Congratulations," she smiled at the woman.

"Thank ye. I'm Janet-- Jenny is what my friends call me. This is wee Kitty"

"Claire," she introduced herself with a smile, "This is my son Fergus running down the aisle, and my daughter, Faith."

"Where are ye coming from Sassenach?"

"I... I'm staying with Reverend Wakefield for the time being. I'm to start medical school in Inverness in a few weeks."

"A Doctor? Now that's impressive."

"Not yet- but hopefully soon."

"Ye should come over with the bairn, we can make my husband watch them for a bit and have some tea or a dram perhaps?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"That would be nice. I don't know many people in the area." 

"Not to worry, Ye'll be a local in no time at all." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Claire and Jamie are in the same country! In the same area! Will they find each other soon? Keep reading to find out! Love your reviews!


	13. Too Much For One Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters in one morning? Who am I? The muse has got me and I had a bit of time so I'm glad I was able to get this out! Hope you enjoy!

Jenny invited Claire over later that week, and Claire went over leaving Fergus under the watchful eye of Mrs. Graham. 

Claire found it nice to have a friend in this new place and enjoyed hearing Jenny talk about her simple life with her and her husband. Claire still felt shy to share about herself, but the woman did enough chatting for both of them. They could always talk about their children and often did. 

There was a knock at the door, "Jenny!" she heard a familiar Scottish voice.

"Come in Murtagh! Ye ken the door is always open to ye. We're in the sitting room." Jenny called back. "Excuse my godfather. He's just come to drop something off."

Claire froze for a moment, unsure if her mind was deceiving her. Murtagh walked in and greeted Jenny without giving her a second glance, but then spotted the curls and turned.

"Claire?" he asked. 

"Colonel Fitzgibbons," she said with a small smile. "I can't believe it's you." 

"Com'here lass!" he greeted and pulled her into a hug. She nearly sobbed as he held her, spinning her around.

"Claire? This is _the_ Claire?" Jenny asked. "Jamie's Claire?"

"Aye," Murtagh nodded. "This is the Sassenach that stole his heart."

"Oh tank the lord," Jenny said, pulling her into a hug as well. "I already like her." 

Claire took a deep breath and looked at them. "I... Is Jamie alive?"

"O'course," Jenny said. "He's not far."

Claire let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "He is?" 

"Aye, he was seriously injured after the bombing at the embassy. He was in a coma for quite a bit."

"But he's alive?"

"Yes but-"

She started to cry. "I prayed every day for this. To let him be here. To see-"

And then the baby started to cry.

Claire picked up the red-headed girl.

Murtagh and Jenny's eyes widened. "Is that -"

"Jamie's daughter, yes. This is Faith Geillis Fraser." Claire rocked the baby, unable to tear the smile from her face. "And we might even be breathing the same air."

"Claire-" Murtagh said. "Sit."

She saw the sadness on Murtagh's face. "What's wrong?"

"Jamie's not the same man you met in the war. He's not the same. "

"What do you mean?" 

"Jamie was severely injured. He was -"

"I don't care how he looks. He's my husband."

"It's not that lass, although his back is a mess. He lost his memories- of the war."

"Including me..." Claire looked at Murtagh and sunk down into her chair. "What else are you hiding?"

"Claire-"

"What else?" she asked sternly.

"He's engaged." 

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"To a widow from the war," Murtagh said.

"She's a vapid little lass. I hate her," Jenny said. "Maybe you being here will spark his memories."

"If it doesn't kill me first," Claire said. "I... I don't know if I can see him, and have him not know me. It might be too much for one heart. And for Fergus?"

"The lad's with you?"

"He's at the Reverends. That's where I'm staying. I'm starting medical school rotations next week."

"Lass, I'm so proud of ye," Murtagh said. "Ye made it here."

"We did some things we aren't proud of to get here. But I needed my children to be safe."

"As any mother knows," Jenny said, stroking Claires back. 

\---------- 

Claire returned to the Reverend's house, her heart heavy.

"Mama, how was your play date?" Fergus asked.

"I had tea with Ms. Jenny, and you'll never guess who I saw."

"Who?"

"Murtagh." 

"Really?? Did he miss me?"

"Of course he did. I'm sure we'll see him later in the week." 

"Was there any news about da?"

Claire sighed and sat Fergus down. 

"Your father is alive." 

"Why didn't he find us?"

"He was very badly injured at the embassy lovey. He hurt his head so bad, that he doesn't remember a lot of things... including us," she said. "He didn't know to find us."

"But we're here now. We can help him."

"I'm not sure it will darling. He's moved on and is engaged."

"He can't be engaged. He's married to you." 

"We were only handfast. It only lasts a year and a day, and it's been longer. So technically, as much as it hurts me, he can."

"But he's wrong. We have to show that he is wrong!" 

"I hope so Fergus. But I can't say for certain that he will."

\----------

Claire settled into her life in Scotland without a hitch for the most part, she started at the hospital and was learning hands-on long days, but she was happy to be working hard. She was happy Fergus had started to thrive in an actual classroom setting with his peers, and furthermore was making friends his own age for the first time. The Driving was taking some getting used to, but otherwise, she felt at home. 

"Claire, d'ye mind bringing this tea into the reverend's office? He's having a meeting with a couple and I look a mess from baking bread."

"Certainly, Mrs. Graham." She took the tray of cups and the teapot into the reverend's office and set it down in front of a blonde-haired lass, sitting at the desk. 

"Good morning." Claire greeted.

"Morning Mistress." the girl greeted. 

"I brought tea for you and the reverend. But I suppose I lost him."

"He and my fiancee are out looking at a fence that needs to be mended in the back." 

"Well, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials."

"Thank ye. Have you been married?" The blonde girl asked, gazing at the ring on her finger.

"Yes, one of the happiest days of my life," she said with a smile.

"I've been married before. My husband died in the war."

"I'm very sorry."

"It was more of a convenience thing than anything else," she said. "This one will be different." 

"Well, I wish you happiness in your new marriage."

"Thank ye." 

Claire was headed back to the kitchen when the door opened to reveal the reverend and the blonde's fiancee... Jamie. 

She froze when she saw him, and he stared at her for a moment. She could almost see the hint of recognition in his eyes like he had known her from somewhere and just wasn't sure. 

She wanted to say something, anything but her mouth was dry so instead, she rushed back into the kitchen. 

"What's wrong child? Ye look like ye've seen a ghost."

"Something like that." 

And so she told Mrs. Graham the story.

"Ye mustn't let the reverend marry them then. He's your husband."

"What can I do Mrs. Graham?"

She heard the sound of China breaking.

"Stay, I'll take care of it." Mrs. Graham insisted. 

Claire sat there, and waited for her to return but was surprised to see her tall, broad, red-headed Scott instead.

"Hullo." he greeted.

"Hello," she responded softly. 

"Mrs. Graham didn't mention ye were a Sassenach."

"That's me." she smiled at him. She could still feel butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her like that. 

"She mentioned ye were a wee healer. I seem to have messed up my hand-" 

"I'll patch you up in no time. "

"I'm Jamie-" he greeted.

"I know," she said. "Claire."

Jamie's face changed. "Have--- have we met before? Ye looked so familiar like from a dream-"

"Oh yes. We've done quite a bit more than meet." she gathered the supplies she needed to clean the cut on his hand. She boiled some water to cleanse the wound.

"We have?" 

She nodded at him, as she started to hold his hand still. she felt a spark when their skin met, and the look on his face meant he felt it too. That somewhere deep in his soul, he recognized her

She took a pair of forceps and removed a small shard of the cup that remained, before using the sterile water to clean the edges of the wound. 

"You look like ye need stitches."

"Doubt it's the first time," he said. 

"It's not." she shook her head. "Not even the first time from me I'm afraid."

"So ye've nursed me before then?"

"And more." she left it vague, unable to speak of what they shared. 

"I met ye during the war." she nodded as she prepared a syringe with lidocaine to numb the area. 

"You're going to feel a pinch, then a burning sensation before the area goes numb," she warned him as she injected the area.

"Adhia!" 

"I'm sorry, I know it's uncomfortable." she apologized.

"Not nearly as uncomfortable as ye looked as when I walked in before."

"Sorry." she apologized sheepishly.

"I apologize if I hurt ye-, I certainly don't ken what I did, but ye seem like a lovely lass and I wouldn't-"

"I know you wouldn't Jamie. I know you don't mean to but you are still even now-."

"I Dinna understand-"

She reached into the medical bag and prepared the sutures before pulling out the picture she kept inside. The picture of their wedding day.

She glanced at it herself for a moment, absent-mindedly playing with the ring on her finger.

"Where'd ye get that ring?" he asked, looking at it and then her.

"From you," she smiled briefly.

"Maman! You'll never guess what I-" Fergus froze.

Jamie looked up at the lad. 

"Milord," Fergus greeted slowly. Claire slowly shook her head. 

"What's going on Fergus?" Claire asked.

"I was just going to tell you I saw Monsieur Murtagh in the village while I was playing ball."

"I'm glad you two were reunited." she smiled. "I'm just fixing Jamie's hand. Give me a few minutes and we'll talk all about it."

She set down the photo, rewashed her hands and went back to work stitching his hand up.

"And the lad?" Jamie asked after Fergus left.

"Adopted." she smiled, "You gave him his name. He had nothing other than the clothes on his back, and you took him in." she looked the man up and down.

"I don't ken who I am anymore," he confessed. "I hope I'd do something like that." 

"I know you James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. And you are a good man. You are a son, you are a brother, you are a soldier, you are a husband and a father." Her eyes drifted toward 

She bandaged his hand, taking care not to wrap it too tight. 

"Come back and see me to change the bandage " she instructed. "At least once every two days, more often if you soil it. The stitches can probably come out in 7-10 days. They might be itchy, please don't scratch them. I don't want you to get an infection."

She admired her handy work and absentmindedly kissed his palm.

"I'll see you in two days." She put away the rest of her supplies and watched as he stared at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Just wondering-" 

"Wondering -?"

"How I could forget someone like ye?" he said.

"Head injuries, unfortunately, can do that. I only hope you remember me... and. the life we built-before it's too late." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loved all your feedback these past few chapters! Can't wait to read more!


	14. Powerless

"Fergus," Claire said finding her son sitting in his room staring at the wall.

"He doesn't know me." 

"He doesn't know me either lovey." She kissed the boy's forehead and played with his hair as she held him close.

"It stinks."

"I know my sweet boy."

"He doesn't even recognize us."

"Hopefully he will soon."

"You still believe, Maman?" 

"Still." 

\---------------

"Who was Claire to me, Murtagh?" Jamie asked.

"Everything?" Murtagh said with a puzzled question. "Why? Are ye starting to remember?"

"No, but... I met her today." he said. "She fixed up my hand." 

"She's good like that." Murtagh acknowledged. "Ye looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky." 

"And did she?"

"Fer ye? Aye. She was everything ye needed, and wanted. She's sharp as a whip, but soft in all the right ways. The way she was a mother to Fergus and now-"

"That's the lad with the long hair?"

"Aye, I ran into him today. He's a smart lad. Ye took him in ye ken. He had nothing-"

"So Claire said."

"He was an orphan on the street. Didn't even ken who his parents were. Didn't have a name -"

"Claire said the same."

'Why wouldn't she?"

"I dunno --- it just feels like it's someone else's story. Like I can't see myself taking part at all."

\-------------------------------

Jamie went to his therapist that week.

"I met my wife yesterday."

"Ye got married? Congrats. I ken ye were engaged but -"

"No. I am already married or handfast to another woman. I can't remember her at all." 

"And how does that make ye feel?"

"I dunno. I feel bad." 

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure it's hurting her."

"But does she seem mad at ye?"

"No she was so damn understanding." He got up from his chair and walked over to the window. 

"And why does that upset ye so?" 

"Because she deserves to be mad. I couldn't help her. Couldn't help anyone-" He turned back to his therapist, "I had a son ye ken? In the war. I raised an orphan boy. I had planned to take him back with me."

"Does fatherhood scare ye?

"I Dinna ken. I mean I'm fine with Laoghaire's girls. But they have their mother. I default to her. "

"And this boy?"

"He has Claire I suppose. He had me and I let him down-" 

"Jamie ye were injured, its not yer fault at all lad. Ye have to accept that ye don't have to carry the whole weight of the world on your shoulders. Maybe ye should actually try and acknowledge the war happened rather than ignore it. Maybe ye need to process it. Talk to yer friends. Talk to yer wife. Maybe ye'll remember."

\-------------------------------

Jamie found himself back in the Reverend's kitchen a day later, for a bandage change with Claire. 

"How was yer day?" he asked. 

"Long," she answered honestly. "I was at the hospital all day, came home cooked, laundry, you know the domestic life."

"Aye. How'd ye do it?"

"Do what?"

"Raise a wonderful son like Fergus and work se hard?" 

"With help," she smiled. "Mrs. Graham is a godsend. She takes care of Fergus and-"

Suddenly Fergus and another little boy ran in the kitchen.

"Ms. Claire may I have a biscuit?" 

"Roger Wakefield how many biscuits have you had today?" she asked with a grin. 

"None." he said with big puppy dog eyes.

"Well then I suppose if you wash your hands well, you may have each have one. Don't forget to brush your teeth before bed. Do you lads need a story?"

"We're fine Maman." 

Claire smiled and shook her head, returning to Jamie. 

"Ye're so good with them." 

"I try. It takes a lot of patience some days let me tell you."

"But you do it." 

"Of course." she looked at him. "You do the next right thing."

"I..... Could ye tell me more about us?" he said.

"What would you like to know?" she asked as she sat beside him on a stool at the counter. 

"How'd we meet?"

"I'm afraid it's rather embarrassing." 

"It's just me Sassenach." Her heart melted as he looked at her. 

"Well, you were stationed in the city I worked in. I was a dancer at a club. You came in with your friends on Halloween, we collided with each other, I got you a drink, Murtagh bought you a dance with me and the rest was history."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," she grinned at him. "I'm sure the sheer fairy costume didn't hurt." she mentioned. 

Jamie let out a laugh "So ye danced?"

"I healed on the side. I needed an income after my village was bombed."

"Ye're a strong lass." 

"I have to be for my children." she said.

"Whose strong for you?" He asked. 

_You were_. She thought to herself. 

"I lived amongst the nuns in my home country for about a year recently and I suppose I have to put a lot of it to god. "

"Ye're religious then?"

"I wasn't but now... I'd like to believe someone has a plan for all of this... for me." She looked up. "A lot of things have happened that have gotten me to where I am. I don't know that I would change it."

"I do too."

She finished bandaging up his hand. 

"Can ye do something for me Sassenach?"

"Of course."

"D'ye have any letters or pictures?"

"No letters I'm afraid. My lodging was ransacked the day of the bombing as was our quarters on base. But-" .

She quickly ran to her office off the kitchen and grabbed the one picture she had of her wedding.

"Here-" 

"We were hand fast." he said.

She moved her watch from her wrist to expose the small scar there, and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the matching scar. Her finger rubbed across it, and he swore for a moment he could picture the scene himself.

"Blood of my blood." she said, "Bone of my bone."

"We said those words?"

"In Gaelic of course. " she smiled. 

"I..." he looked at her. 

"It was a small affair." she said pointing out some people in the picture. 

"You, me, Murtagh, my friend Geillis, Fergus, and some of our friends. It was..."

"It was what?" he asked of her

"It was one of the happiest days of my life." She smiled at him. 

"Ye looked so bonny." 

"Thank you." She cleaned up his bandage once more. "I suppose you're all fixed up soldier." 

"Two days?"

"Two days" she agreed.

\---------------------

She found herself in Faith's room, singing her to sleep. 

She had finally settled when she received a call.

"Claire, Its Jenny."

"Oh hello, Jenny. How are you?"

"I'm tired but well."

"I was wondering if ye had plans for Friday night."

"Not really-"

"Good, yer comin to the Distillery Gala."

"I appreciate the offer Jenny but -

"Ye're gonna get all dolled up and make that brother of mine see what he's been missing. Dinna even worry about the outfit, I've got ye covered. Just bring yer beautiful self here. " 

"Jenny-"

"Ye said ye're free. No take backs."

"I'd have to ask Mrs. Graham to mind the children. It's her night off."

"Ye leave that to me, I have a local girl watching mine. What more is a bairn and Fergus?" 

\---------------------------

"Jenny I feel ridiculous. And I was an exotic dancer. I've exposed more of myself to the world than they should see." Claire said looking at herself in the mirror at the red dress Jenny and provided. 

"Ye look radiant." 

She examined herself once more in the mirror. She wore the red A-line gown, the sleeves and bodice made of red lace, plunging toward her navel revealing ample cleavage. Her hair carefully piled atop her head, her lips painted red, shadow carefully placed 

"I'm a mother Jenny."

"Yer a gorgeous one." she replied. "Come on, maybe seeing ye like this will spark his memory. 

"Theres still the small trouble of his fiancé. I know Jamie. He's a good man, he won't do anything while she's around."

"It's a good thing she didn't end up coming then, isn't it?"

"What did you do Jenny?"

"Nothing. She just couldn't find a sitter for her two girls."

"But you have a sitter."

"Aye and I paid her extra money to tell her she wouldn't watch them." 

Claire let out a laugh, as she picked up the small clutch and followed Jenny.

"Murtagh, Ian." she greeted each of the men.

"Ye look Bonny, Claire." Murtagh said. "Yer'e a very handsome woman." 

"You look quite dashing yourself, Colonel." 

"Shall we?" Jenny led them out towards the area of the estate they were using for the gala.

She descended the stairs in her gown and as she did she spotted him and her mouth became dry. There was nothing quite as attractive as seeing Jamie, the man who had wed her wearing his traditional Highlander regalia. He wore the Fraser tartan he had told her about She saw him, he was in his natural state, being a story teller and her heart swelled. 

He looked up and saw her. She grinned as she continued to walk towards him.

"Sassenach," he breathed. 

"Well hello to you too Colonel."'

"Ye look-"he looked at a loss for words. 

"I'll take it your silence is a good thing." 

"Aye," he said. 

"You look very handsome yourself." she acknowledged. 

The two mingled, sipping on the famous Fraser Murray whiskey, eating with friends. 

A familiar song started to play. It was the same song she and Jamie had danced to the first night they made love.

"Dance with me?" she asked.

"I'm not much of a dancer, Sassenach."

"Good thing, I am then." she pulled him by the hand to the dance floor and he wrapped his arms around her and swayed with her.

"I.... have we done this before? I'm having a feeling of deja vu." 

"We have." she smiled at him, as he spun her out and back into his arms. 

"Ye are quite the dancer." he admired.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

Her heart ached at every glance, at every ghosting touch. It felt almost like things were the way they used to be. She felt like she was falling into his gravity, falling farther and farther into him.

\------------------------

He made her laugh almost constantly, desperate to see a smile on that gorgeous face of hers. She stayed by his side most of the night, and he was grateful for her company. She was an excellent conversationalist, and was able to charm anyone who had the pleasure of being in her circle. He was powerless to her. 

Dancing with her, having her in his arms felt right. Like his soul recognized her. He could see how easy it would be to love her. How he had fallen for her, and how he was already falling for her again.

"Maman!" he heard a young boy shout. 

"Fergus, what is it?" she asked him. 

"It's Faith-" 

Claire picked up her skirts and ran after the boy, Jamie trailing behind her.

"She can't breathe." 

Claire could hear it in her throat. Stridor, the sharp barking cough.

"She has croup. Do you have a shower?"

"Aye," Jamie said leading her down the hall.

"I need you to turn the water up hot as it can go, and close the door to steam up the room." She tried to rock the struggling babe. 

"Shh darling, mama's got you." 

Jamie did as she asked and watched in awe as she shut them inside the steamy room, and the babe seemed to calm down a bit as Claire hummed to her. 

"She's bonny." Jamie said staring at the baby.

"She looks like her father." Claire said with a knowing look.

"She's mine?"

Claire nodded. "You couldn't tell by the hair?." she teased, running her fingers through the red curls. "Meet Faith Geillis Fraser. You know, she's been waiting her whole life to meet her Da." 

"Mo leannan." he reached out to touch her, his jaw dropped. He felt as if he was watching his life flash before his very eyes, and he almost fell backwards.

"Jamie, is it the heat?"

"No, Sassenach. I remember. I remember everything." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! He finally remembers! But what does that mean for everyone else involved in our little plot? Keep reading to find out


	15. Reunited

_"I remember . I remember everything."_

"You do?" Claire asked hesitantly 

"Oh Sassenach, I'm so sorry." Jamie pulled her close, his forehead resting against hers. "I'm so sorry I left ye that day. For al that time." He nearly sobbed, as he held her.

"It's alright Jamie. It's all through. We're home." she smiled at him.

"Aye, I'm finally home now. I haven't been for a year. It's not home without ye Sassenach, and without Fergus and now without Faith." 

He looked at the little girl in his arms. "Hullo, I'm yer da." He stroked her cheek, as she peered at him through long lashes. "She's perfect Claire. I'm so sorry I missed her birth, that I couldn't be with ye."

"She and Fergus are what got me through it. It was a rough time." she gazed at him. "But it was all worth it."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, resting his head atop hers. The two sat there for a few moments. 

"Can we get Fergus?" Jamie asked. "I need to hug that lad."

"I'm sure he'd love it."

"Fergus?" Jamie called out.

"Yes milord?" he asked tentatively, looking up at Jamie.

"Come give yer da a hug. I'm so sorry my lad. Thank ye for protecting yer mam and the bairn while I was away." 

Fergus shook his head and turned around walking out.

"Fergus?" Claire called after him, but he continued to walk away. "I'm not sure what's gotten into him. I'll go check on him. Stay here with Faith." 

Jamie sat there content to watch the bairn in his arms. _His bairn_. God it was strange to think but nothing had ever felt more right. He counted her fingers and toes. Ten perfect fingers, ten perfect toes. 

"Hello Faith, I'm yer Da. I'm sorry I'm a little late getting to meet ye but I'm so excited yer here in the world my little lass. Ye ken, I didn't ken about ye till today but lass I already love ye so much. I promise to protect ye best I can, and to be there fer ye."

She squeezed his finger, and he swear he melted. 

\----------------------

"Fergus," Claire called after him. 

"Maman," he acknowledged as she sat atop a set of stairs.

"What's going on?" she sat beside him and wrapped an arm around him.

'He forgot me."

"He forgot everyone darling. It wasn't on purpose."

"What if he loves Faith more than he loves me?"

"Impossible." she said. "Your da loves you very much. He told me how much he missed you and wanted to hug you."

"But-" 

"Do you think I love Faith more than you?"

"No," Fergus shook his head "but he remembered when he-"

"Fergus, there is no rhyme or reason as to why he remembered when he did darling. He could have remembered walking down the street alone, holding your hand or mine or in the middle of the night. Remember he didn't even know Faith existed until just now."

"I... I don't want him to hurt you again like he did when he couldn't remember." 

Her heart ached for her little boy. 

"Thank you for trying to protect me darling. I love you so much. But I think that things are finally starting to get back to normal." she kissed the top of his head. "Your da never intentionally hurt me and I don't think he ever would do that to you either."

"I understand." Fergus nodded hugging her side. 

"Do you want to go say hi and tell him what he missed?"

Fergus nodded and the two walked back hand in hand toward the steamy bathroom. 

"I think we can shut the water off and you can come out now." Claire said to Jamie as she opened the door. Jamie arose from his seat on the edge of the tub and looked at the two.

Claire immediately opened her arms for the baby and took her from Jamie.

"Can I have that hug now?" Fergus asked, making Jamie smile dropping down to hug the boy.

"I missed ye so much laddie. I'm so glad yere okay." They hugged for a long moment, Jamie afraid to let the boy slip away from him again. "Ye did such a good job taking care of yer mam."

"She's the best mam. She deserves the best." Fergus smiled.

"Aye she is. I couldn't ask for a better mam fer ye than her." He looked at Claire and smiled at her. 

"Why don't you run along back to the sitter, Fergus? I'm gonna keep Faith with me to monitor her breathing."

"Oui, Maman." he said.

Jamie wrapped an arm around his lasses. 

"Shall we go back to the party?" Claire proposed. "I'm sure your sister is dying to know your memories are back."

"Aye, lets go Mo chridee." 

They found their way back to the party, Claire's hair looking bit worse for wear from the steamy bathroom. 

"Hows my favorite niece doing?" Jenny asked when she saw Claire holding the baby. 

"She probably has croup. The steam helped. Although being held by her da, certainly didn't hurt." she smiled at Jamie.

"Ye ken that ye have a bairn then?"

"Aye, and I remember my wife and son."

Jenny's eyes grew wide 

"You do?!"

"I do." he glanced at Claire who smiled. 

"Oh tank the lord. I cant' stand that viper you were gonna make your new wife. She's a wretched thing. " 

Jamie's face dropped.

"Ye forgot about that one too? Ye're an idiot." Jenny shook her head.

"We did forget about Laoghaire in the bliss of getting back together." Claire said.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow." "Jamie settled on. "It's unfortunate that I have to hurt her but I made a vow to my wife that I intend to keep. I give ye my spirit till our life shall be done Sassenach." 

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and smiled at him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He grinned. 

\-----------------------------

The next morning Jamie resolved to go see Laoghaire.

He arrived at her doorstep and took a few deep breaths before letting himself in like he had a thousand times. 

"Good morning, Jamie." she greeted him

"Good morning. Do you have a few moments to talk?"

"Aye, of course. What's going on in that gorgeous head of yours?"

"Laoghaire, as ye ken, I lost a good portion of my memories from the war."

"Aye, terrible."

"But what I didn't know is that while I was away is that I was married. I have a wife. Murtagh mentioned it but I wanted to ignore it."

"Yere married?" she asked.

"Aye, I have a wife and two children. I met them last week."

"She's lying. She's trying to use you." she yelled at him .

"Laoghaire, she's not." He tried to reason with her. 

"She just wants to take ye from me."

"Laoghaire- she's my wife. I made a vow to her." 

"Ye were going to make a vow to me-"

"But I haven't. And I cannot. Ye are a lovely and beautiful lass, but I already made a vow I canna break. I will always care for ye, and I love the girls as if they were my own, but I need ye to understand that there can no longer be an us."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Ye're a smart lass, ye'll figure it out."

"I love ye James Fraser. You ken that."

"Laoghaire I'm sorry."

"So that's it?"

"It's like ye said that one time about it's the dream that ye wake up and he's back. Ye're husband is back." 

"But he's not-" 

"Aye but for me, she is. She's back for me. I dreamt of her. I have a daughter I didn't even ken about. It's my duty to " 

"Jamie please-" 

"I'm sorry. Please if ye need help with the girls. let me know."

He gave Marsali and Joanie a quick hug before he left, heading back to Claire.

\---------------

Jamie had a new spring in his step as he walked back to the house. Claire was working that day, but when she got home, she would be pampered. 

He set up candles, he found a restaurant to make the food they had had on their first night together. He found a record playing the music they had danced to. 

"What are you doing Da?"

"I'm trying to make dinner special fer yer Ma." 

"Flowers always help." Fergus said.

"Aye, shall we stop by the flower shop then?" 

"Oui." Fergus by his side, and Faith strapped into a stroller with Fergus's assistance, and walked to the flower shop.

"I'm afraid I'm no good at this yet laddie."

"It'll take practice, Da. You're doing great." 

"Thank ye Fergus." 

They made it to the flower shop and back with a big bouquet of flowers in tow.

Jamie got Fergus settled to eat, and was waiting for Claire when she came in late.

She heard the music playing from the record player and saw the light from the candles.

"Jamie?" she looked around. "What's all this?"

"I thought it might be nice to relive our first night where two became one, where I proposed."

She looked at him and smiled. 

"It's very sweet of you. Let me just change quickly." 

She quickly changed out of her scrubs from work and into something a little more suitable.

She found herself standing at the top of the stairs suddenly nervous to go see this man, the man who had been called her husband not that long ago. 

"Ye look beautiful Sassenach. As lovely as the day I met ye." 

"You look handsome soldier." she said as she descended and made her way to him. He offered her his hand and led her to the candlelit table. But somehow as they ate together, and spoke, it felt like they had never even said goodbye. 

"I ended things with Laoghaire, she wasna happy bout it, but it's over. So I'm free to be with ye." 

"Good," she let out a breath. 

It felt like things were just as they should be. 

"Jamie,"

"Hmm?" he asked as he held her close as they seemed to spin in place dancing.

"Let's go to bed."

"To bed or to sleep?" he asked an eyebrow cocked at her.

"I think you know the answer, soldier." 

He took her by the hand and led her up the stairs to her room, and gently kissed her, hands entangling in her hair. It didn't even feel like desire at this point, it felt like need. 

His lips ghosted hers, kissing down to her neck, hands grazing across her curves, cupping her breasts.

He went to remove her dress, when she looked hesitant.

"What's wrong?"

"My body isn't the same... after Faith." she said shyly. "I'm not as beautiful as you remember." 

"Let me see ye." he urged as he pulled off her layers.

She stood in front of him shy. 

"This is the body of the women who brought my bairn into the world." he said as he kissed down her body. "That's the most beautiful thing in the world."

Her knees nearly buckled as his finger rubbed her sensitive nub. 

"Lay back," he urged, burying his face between her thighs, lapping at her already glistening folds, His fingers dancing over her clit, causing her to moan.

"Jamie please, " she begged. "I need you."

He kissed his way back up her body, til he was face to face with her, and he gazed into her eye as he took her, sheathing himself with her. 

"God I love ye Claire" he told her as he pumped himself in her, her warmth, how she felt like coming home. He kissed her deeply, muffling any moans as his fingers stroked her clit. He felt her tighten around him and he was done for.

He rolled off of her and laid beside her. 

"I missed that." she laughed. "I haven't since we were together last-"

"Aye, I missed being with ye too Sassenach." he kissed her softly, and spooned up against her.

"I should probably get dressed. Faith still needs her last bottle." Claire said. 

"Can I watch?"

"Me feed her?" she questioned.

"Aye. Ye just look so beautiful with a bairn in yer arms. I'm sorry I missed being there with ye-"

"It's not your fault Jamie."

"I'm tryin to accept that, but I always dreamed of seeing yer belly swollen with my child, of wrapping my arms around ye, of watching them suckle ye."

"Not now," she said to him. "but maybe we can have another someday?" 

"Aye." he smiled at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry work has been super crazy! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We are getting closer to the end, but don't be sad. There's still more in store for our love birds. Love your comments!


	16. Adjustments

Jamie took to being a Da like a fish to water. He adored his time with his family, and was frequently found playing in the yard with Fergus, teaching him to ride a bicycle, how to play shinty like he had as a lad, and how to play football. He was enamored with his daughter. He loved to make her laugh, and smile. He tickled and cooed at her. He didn't even mind finding all the little socks about.

He worked at the distillery during the day to return to his family at night. He loved having his wife back in his arms. HE resolved to marry her properly, again before god this time, and to keep building them a home.

He picked Fergus up from school one day where they went to a local park, and played on the swings.

"Marsali, Joanie?" he spotted the two young blonde lasses playing by themselves.

"Hi Jamie!" Marsali ran and hugged him.

"It's good to see ye lasses. Are ye here alone?"

"Aye, Mum said we're old enough to walk home alone."

"Lass ye're seven years old. I ken ye're smart but ye should still have a grown up." 

"Mam has to work." 

Jamie frowned at the thought of the girls being alone.

"Well why don't ye play for a bit and I'll tae ye out for ice cream before I bring ye home to yer mam?"

"Really?" 

"Of course. I'm sure she won't mind." 

Fergus and Marsali seemed to take a shine to each other and began to play tag on the playground as Joanie played on the swings, and aJamie rocked a napping Faith in her stroller.

He took the girls for ice cream before bringing them back round to Laoghaire's home.

"Ye've come back," she said hopefully. 

"Laoghaire, ye left the girls to their own devices at a park and let them walk home alone. They're too young. If ye need help with getting them from school I don't mind helping." 

"Ye don't?"

"No. I told ye I care about the girls as if they were my own. But I have a family of my own to take care of as well."

"Of course"

\------------------------------

"I saw Laoghaire's girls at the park alone today." Jamie said as he wrapped his arms around 

"Oh did you?" Claire asked, propping herself up on an elbow to look at him.

"I did." he looked at her. "I took them out for ice cream and took them home. I worry about them."

"I obviously don't want anything to happen to the girls but please be careful Jamie, I worry about Laoghaire getting the wrong idea."

"I know, Sassenach. I love ye and Dinna want to do anything to hurt ye."

"I trust you Jamie."

\-------------------------------------

"Claire?" one of the nurses called.

"Hmm?"

"It's Mrs. Graham. She said something about the bairn" Claire practically sprinted to the phone.

"Hello?""

"Hello Claire, I don't mean to worry ye but I've never ken Jamie to be late, and he was supposed to pick up Faith an hour and a half ago. I tried to ring him but he's not answerin'."

"Do you mind holding onto the children a bit longer while I try to figure this out?"

"Aye, it's not a problem. I just thought ye should know."

"Thank you Mrs. Graham." 

Claire looked around at the doctors with her.

"Something wrong Lady Jane?"

"I need to go Joe. Something is wrong at home." 

"You go LJ. I'll cover for you."

"Thank you Joe!" 

\-------

She rushed to their home only to find Jamie in bed.

"Jamie?" she shook him. He was sluggish to respond. 

"Hmm?"

"Jamie you reek. Are you drunk?" she said standing above him. 

"I dinna remember Sassenach." 

She looked at him. "And you're naked." 

He looked down and confirmed her observation. "Sassenach, I Dinna ken what happened. I Dinna remember today at all."

"Because you're black out drunk?"

"I'm a Scott. I Dinna get black out drunk." but his words still sounded slurred.

She took a deep breath. 

"Jamie we're getting you to the hospital."

\----------------------------------

"Lady J, you're back."

"I am, I need a stat tox screen, and a head CT for this man." 

"Who is he?" 

"My husband."

\-----------------------------------

"No evidence of stroke, CT was normal. Actually relatively low levels of blood alcohol considering his responses, maybe had a whiskey. But his tox screen shows Rohypnol." Joe said.

"Roofies?"

"Someone probably slipped him it. It's why he doesn't remember anything." 

She sat beside him. "I almost didn't believe him. I thought that he had done something stupid."

"Given the situation, you find your man reeking of alcohol in your bed naked, it makes sense your mind thinks he did something stupid."

"I know Jamie. He is the most honorable man. I know he'd never do anything to hurt me -"

"Claire you did the right thing. You didn't just leave him, you brought him to the hospital. He's getting fluids. He's going to be fine."

"But how could this happen?" 

\-----------------------

Jamie aroused not much later, Claire sitting at his bedside. 

"Hi," she greeted squeezing his hand stroking it with her thumb.

"Sassenach, are ye mad at me?"

"No." she shook her head. "You gave me a bit of a scare that's all."

"What happened?"

"I'm still not sure. You were drugged Jamie. Thats why you didn't remember." 

"I was. Who?"

"Not sure, darling. Do you remember anything about today?"

"I took Fergus to school... then nothing." 

"I'm not sure Jamie. But you're okay. You've got some more fluids into you and they'll let you come home with me in the morning."

"I always wanna come home to ye Sassenach."

He shifted in the bed onto his side, allowing Claire to slip in beside him.

"I'm sorry I scared ye."

"I'm sorry I assumed you had done something wrong at first." 

"Lass, that's what it looked like. Thanks for kenning better." he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I love you so much." 

"I love ye too."

\--------------

Life returned to normal for the most part. Jamie was a little more on guard than he previously was, but he loved his life with his family. 

Claire was loving her life. As busy as it was, she was learning so much more here in Scotland than she she could have with Mother Hildegard. She wrote the woman often for guidance, and was always delighted with her correspondence and with every letter from Geillis. 

She was working at the hospital one day when she was called to do an exam on a woman to make her more comfortable.

"Laoghaire," Claire said surprised when she pulled back the curtain.

"Oh hello Claire." she grinned. 

"How can I help you today?"

"I've been terribly nauseous. Can't hold a thing down." 

"I'm sorry to hear that. Let me examine you." 

Claire performed her full exam, head to toe, palpating and listening.

"Well you appear to be mildly dehydrated. I'm going to order you some fluids and some anti-nausea medications. When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"Oh..." she said coyly. "I think I'm late." 

"Get a CBC, CMP, Beta HCG and UPT" she asked the nurse. "If the UPT is positive get amenorrhea labs please."

"Right away Dr. Fraser." The nurse set off. 

"We will check on that. Don't worry, Ms. McKenzie. Is there anyone I can call for you?"

"Can ye call Jamie to look after the girls?"

"Of course." 

"He's just so thoughtful and attentive."

"I'm well aware of my husbands finer qualities." Claire said before exiting the room.

The nurse looked to her. "I don't like the look of that woman. The way she's treating ye is off." 

"I agree. Mary, get those labs stat please." 

\----------

Two little lines revealed the cause of Laoghaire's nausea. 

"Pregnant?" she asked gleefully.

"Yes, you are pregnant. I'm going to have someone take you up for ultrasound to evaluate how far along you are."

"Oh I think I ken when I got pregnant." 

"They'll still evaluate the viability. I'll refer you to obstetrics." Claire said. "Congratulations."

"Jamie will be so delighted." she said. 

"Jamie?" Claire froze.

"Aye. Jamie is the father after all."

"Impossible." 

"No, I had him in yer bed maybe two months ago." she grinned wickedly. "He'll have to take me back now."

Claire walked out of the room, fighting back the urge to scream, to go and slap the woman silly. 

"Jamie? You need to come to the hospital now. Leave the kids" 

\------------------------------

He arrived at the the hospital in a rush. Weaving his way through nurses, and patients, finding the floor Claire worked on. 

"Ye're in trouble." a nurse said to Jamie once she spotted him.

"Me?"

"I've never seen Dr. Fraser upset. And she's right pissed. She's in the Doctors lounge. Go on in." 

He had never seen Claire like that, with her arms crossed across her chest glaring at him. 

"So when were you going to tell me you knocked up Laoghaire?"

He promptly fainted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if we had actually seen the last of Laoghaire! What goes on now?


	17. Wait for It

It took three nurses and a doctor to get the fainted Scott onto a stretcher and into his own room down the hall. 

"He had an episode of syncope. That man's too stubborn to be anything but fine." Claire argued when Joe insisted he get a full workup. "He's a scoundrel."

"Claire this is not the same man you had in here a few months ago, telling me how he would do nothing to ever hurt you. Why are you mad at him?"

"That was before I knew that-" 

"Claire give the man a chance to explain." 

"I don't need an explanation-."

"You do," Joe said grabbing her by the shoulders. "He just got the shock of his life obviously." 

"And I didn't?"

"Lady Jane come on now. That man looks at you like the world revolves around you. "

She sighed. "Joe I can't lose him again."

"You're not going to. Give him a chance to explain." 

She let out a sigh. "You're lucky I trust you more than I trust myself right now." 

\----------

She sat at his bedside and looked at him. She gazed at the soft red curls, that strong jaw, the little bit of stubble she loved so much, but all she could picture was him with her. 

"Sassenach," he breathed. 

"Jamie." her lip quivered as she talked to him.

"I swear-"

"Just listen," she asked. 

He nodded.

"I just want the truth right now. Please."

"Always."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Not since before my memories returned."

"She's saying she's two months along." 

"Then it's not mine. Sassenach, you ken me-"

"I know the look on her face. I know how spiteful she was. She wanted to hurt me-"

"Sassenach ye ken she's just jealous" 

"Is she?"

"Aye. You got me and she's alone." 

"Jamie-"

"I Dinna ever know what I even saw in her. Claire ye ken I love ye. Ye are my whole life."

"But she-"

"I'll take a test. One of those swabs. I Dinna care. I didn't break my vows to ye since I remembered." 

"She said she took you in our bed, Jamie."

His jaw dropped. "I wouldna-" and then he paused."How far along is she?"

"About two months."

His face dropped.

"What? You finally remembered the day that you-"

"No, it's the day I Dinna remember that's it important."

"The day you were drugged," Claire said her jaw-dropping. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Jamie said shaking his head.

"Jamie I'm-"

"She used me," Jamie said. "It's why ye found me naked."

Claire looked at his face. This was not the face of a man who had been caught doing wrong. This was the face of a man who was torn up inside.

"Jamie, I'm so -" She went to wrap her arms around him, he brushed them away.

"Dinna touch me I feel disgusted with myself."

"Jamie you did nothing wrong. You are not dirty or-"

"I'm a man Claire."

"Yes, you're my man, and I'm sorry I was mad at you and assumed the worst." She gazed at him and reached out to brush a lock of hair from his face but he grabbed her wrist.

"Ye don't understand. I should have been able to fight her off or-"

"Jamie, you were drugged. You were not able to consent. She used you, and I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"And now there's another Bairn?"

"Jesus H Roosevelt Christ." Claire sighed. 

"I need some time to think. I'm going for a walk."

"Jamie you just fainted, can you at least-"

"No. I need to go for a walk. Sassenach. I'll meet you at home later."

He didn't even give her a second glance as he left.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Joe asked from the doorway.

"To put it Mildly. Can you take over for me Ms. MacKimmie's case?" 

"Sure, do you want me to take over the rest?"

"No he' needs some space but I can't look at that foul viper in the face without wanting to kill her for what she's done."

"Sheesh. Glad you know your limits LJ." 

She carried about the rest of her shift trying her best to focus on anything other than Laoghaire, to focus on the patients and not let her mind wander to her husband. 

"MacKimmie was discharged," Joe informed her.

"Thank you." 

"What's her deal?"

And she told Joe everything as best as she could."

"Yikes. No wonder you hate her."

"I just... she can't take Jamie away from me."

"Go home, Claire. Take a bath, and breathe. You two will figure this out."

\-----------

She followed Joe's advice and headed home, picking up Fergus and Faith from Mrs. Graham. 

She listened to Fergus talk about School, thankful for the distraction.

"I can't wait to show da what I made in art-"

"Da might be out when we get home, he had a busy day and just needed to go for a walk to clear his head."

"Okay. Well, I'll show him when he gets back."

"I'm sure he'll love it darling," Claire said. She saw an unfamiliar car in front of the house. Her heart dropped. 

"Claire lovely to see ye again so soon." 

"Laoghaire," Claire said through gritted teeth. "Fergus go inside with your sister please and get her in the crib, and wash up for supper. I'm going to order in some pizza I think."

"Tres Bien, Maman." Fergus pulled the stroller inside. 

"What are you doing here?" Claire asked.

"I came to see Jamie."

"He's obviously not here." 

"Ye drove him away?"

"He needed some time to think."

"Aye, to think about how he's going to leave ye and come back to me to raise our Bairn."

"Don't be ridiculous Laoghaire. He's not going anywhere."

"But I'm with child-"

"That you conceived without his consent." 

"He loved me before ye came around."

"And he loved me before then. You took advantage of a man who was hurting from the war, who had lost so much and conned him into a relationship based on his sense of duty. You're foul." 

She laughed. "It'll be much easier when you're out of the picture."

"What are you going to do then? I'm not going anywhere." 

"I'll get rid of you." She pulled a gun out of her purse.

Claire stood her ground.

"I've seen things that your mind cannot even fathom. I've held men while they died in my arms, I've seen bodies burned beyond recognition. Do you think your little gun is going to scare me?"

"Laoghaire put the gun down lass-" she heard Jamie's voice say. Claire wanted to look at him but kept her eyes on the gun, afraid of what Laoghaire might do.

"Jamie, I knew ye'd come for me."

"Just put it down. There's no reason to hurt her to get to me." Jamie said raising his hand to reach towards her, and he slowly approached her. 

"But she's keeping ye from me, James Fraser. Ye ken how much I love ye."

"Aye, I ken. But killing the mother of my other children is not gonna help us." 

"Why not? She can't have ye then if she's dead." She raised the gun a little more.

"We canna be together if ye're imprisoned, can we?"

"I suppose ye're right. But how do we do this then?"

"I'll come with ye. We'll talk about this but ye need to just put the gun down." He had put himself between the gun and Claire. Laoghaire was starting to lower it, when Claire heard the all too familiar creak of the door. 

"Da you're-"

"Fergus, back inside the house laddie," Jamie said. "Don't ye worry." 

His eyes widened as he nodded, closing the door. But Laoghaire had once more raised her gun to Claire. 

"Both of them will have to go. 

"Give me the hurt and the pain and the gun, Laoghaire. Give me blame for not seeing the things that you've done for me" Jamie said. "Just let the go."

"No. She can't take ye from me again." Claire heard the shot, but she Jamie go down. 

"I didn't mean to." 

"FERGUS CALL 999!" Claire yelled, immediately dropping to the ground on top of Jamie. 

"You killed him." Claire looked at Laoghaire. "You ruined everything," she yelled at the girl.

"I didn't mean to---" 

"Jamie, please stay with me," Claire said applying pressure to the blossoming red that was coming from his Chest. 

"Sassenach," he squeaked out. "Get out of here she'll-" 

She heard the click of the gun being cocked and she froze.

But then she heard the sirens in the background. "Help is on the way, Jamie. Please hold on. I need you." 

"I can't raise the bairn in Jail." Laoghaire said pacing. 

"You shouldn't have shot him then," Claire spat at her. "Your actions have consequences." 

Laoghaire burst into tears. "What do I do?" 

"Take care of the girls," she said before she changed the direction of the gun.

"Laoghaire, no!" Claire yelled but she was too late. 

Laoghaire was on the ground in a crumpled heap. 

"Jamie hold on for me. Please." Claire said applying pressure to his wound. "I love you so much soldier come on."

"Claire, I love ye- and the children." 

The ambulance was there moments later, and how Claire found herself running the trauma until she got to the hospital, she didn't know.

"LJ back so- OH MY GOD?" Joe exclaimed.

"Get me some scrubs. I need to -"

"You need to calm down. They are taking care of him best they can."

"I can't lose him, Joe. I really can't."

"Shh. We're doing everything you know that. Go get some scrubs from the lounge. Change, call who you need to call and wait. You're going to be okay. "

She did as Joe said and found herself on the phone asking Murtagh or Jenny to watch the children, horrified she had left them by themselves.

"Ian's getting the bairns. I'm on my way with Murtagh." Jenny assured her. "Ye shouldna be alone in a time like this." They arrived not too long later with a big hug and a flask of whiskey for Claire which she refused.

"This is all my fault."

"This is not. Claire the woman was a lunatic." Jenny said.

"He was trying to protect me. He got shot trying to protect me."

"Aye, he's a soldier. He would've done that for anyone. Ye ken that Claire. It's in his nature." Murtagh argued as he pat her back. 

"But it's my fault."

"Claire-"

Joe appeared a moment later. "Hey LJ." 

"Is there any news?"

"He lost a lot of blood but you had controlled most of it in the field which is good. They're doing a repair on one of the major vessels that was knocked and removing the bullet. However, that man is stubborn as an ox and holding steady. He's been stable the whole time."

Claire let out a sigh of relief.

"Whose performing?"

"Dr. John Gray."

"He's good. That's fine." Claire assured Murtagh and Jenny. 

"Do you want me to call anyone else?"

"No my family is here." she looked at the other two beside her. 

\--------

They paced and waited for hours. Jenny stopped across the street for takeaway for them.

"I'm not hungry."

"Claire when was the last time ye ate anything?"

"Probably breakfast?"

"IT's near midnight. Please just a few bites?"

Jenny force-fed her the chips.

"Why haven't we heard anything Murtagh asked?"

"It might just be taking longer than they anticipated," Claire said. 

"Aye." Jenny nodded.

"But why-"

"I'd rather they take longer because if it went too quickly he'd probably be dead," Claire said.

Jenny's eyes grew wide at her.

But then a surgeon came out.

"Dr. Fraser?" he asked.

"Yes," she stood eagerly.

"He's out of the woods. "

Claire let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." she squeezed him tight.

"He'll be here for a while for recovery but he's doing well. You can go see him." 

\-------

"Claire you can go in first." Jenny insisted.

"He didn't want to see me before-"

"I'm sure that whatever he was mad about seems small now."

Claire went in and sat at his bedside. 

"You know sitting at your hospital bedside is happening too often. You need to slow down," she said as she looked at him. He had a chest tube hooked on the bedside, and oxygen hooked up to him.

"Sorry Sasse-"

"Don't apologize to me. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Lass-" he squeezed her hand. She looked up at him. "I'm sorry I ran away from the problem rather than trying to work it out with ye."

"You were in shock and you asked for time. You were well within your rights."

"Still. Come here." he raised his good arm and she curled up against him at the bedside. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I love ye."

"I love you so much, Jamie."

"I Dinna ken what's going to happen now but I ken that we'll do everything together." 

She nodded at him

"I Dinna ken what we're going to do now with Laoghaire in jail and-"

"Jamie.... she shot herself. She's dead." 

He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"She is?"

"She is."

"I could have forgiven her for shooting me," he said. "Somehow, I could have done that but she killed my child."

"Jamie," her heart broke as he sobbed. 

"I'm sorry Sass-"

"Jamie, it's okay." she soothed him. "We'll be okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ding dong the witch is dead! But will Jamie and Claire be able to heal from the damage shes caused?


	18. Blessed Are They

Jamie was released from the hospital approximately a week later. Mostly healed from his injuries. He'd have a scar, but he was alive and Claire was thankful. 

Dr. John Grey became a good friend and was one of the only people Jamie seemed to talk to. He seldom shared with Murtagh, or Jenny, or anyone.

He was withdrawn and Claire for the first time in their marriage, really didn't know what to do. He was stuck in the darkness and she was unsure how to bring him back to the light. He didn't want to be touched, and he seldom wanted to talk. He only allowed her to change his dressing, but predominantly he stayed by himself, lost in thoughts of what he could have done differently with his life. Was that bairn really his? How did Laoghaire take advantage of him? Why did his skin feel like it was crawling all the time? What would happen to the girls?

Claire went back to running the household and full time rotations on her own, Fergus by her side, thankfully with few complaints. She was grateful that he accepted her explanation of what was going on. He could see that his Da, was not himself and that he needed time to get better. She was slightly crazed, doing laundry, cooking, making sure homework was done, and that everything was taken care of.

"I'm going for a walk." he said. 

"Do you mind walking Fergus to Choir practice then at the church if you're already walking?"Claire asked. "I don't want him walking alone and I just put a load-"

"Aye, it's not a problem. Come on laddie." Fergus grabbed his things and walked beside him. 

They didn't talk much on the way, a few comments about the weather, and what Fergus was learning in school?"

"Do you want to come in and listen?" Fergus said. "The Reverand said we're sounding good."

Jamie looked at how hopeful his son looked, and couldn't bear to disappoint him any farther than he felt he already had.

"Aye," he nodded. "I'll come in for a few."

"Jamie, good to see ye." The Reverend greeted as Jamie took a seat in one of the pews watching as his boy joined the group of other children. "Haven't seen ye in a bit."

"Aye. Recovering."

"Claire mentioned that ye'd been injured and had some emotional turmoil."

"She did?" he asked annoyed.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. It's not as if she were spreading yer business. She's worried about ye. She's been praying a lot. For a woman of science, her faith is astounding."

"Aye." he nodded.

"Have ye been praying?"

"I haven't been doing much of anything." Jamie said. "I've been... lost," he confessed. 

"That's the thing about grace. Ye can always come back." 

"Easier said than done."

"Aye, but the Heavenly Father knows yer heart. He kens what a good man ye are, whatever has gone amiss, I'm sure he has not given ye more than ye can handle. He tests us in mysterious ways." 

"That's a load of shite. Pardon my language, Reverand. " 

"If ye don't like the direction yer life is going Jamie, ye need to be the one to make a change then. God helps those who helps themselves. And sitting on yer arse all day is not helping anyone." 

His eyes widened at the priest. 

"Ye have so many blessings. A strong, son, a bonny daughter, and the smartest most caring woman I've ever met as a wife. Ye're pushing them all away. "

The reverend left him sitting there to lead the choir rehearsal. 

He sat and watched his son, and listened to the choir. Listened to the words they sang closely. He nearly cried. 

> “Blessed are the poor in spirit,

> for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
> 
> Blessed are those who mourn,
> 
> for they will be comforted.
> 
> Blessed are the meek,
> 
> for they will inherit the earth.
> 
> Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
> 
> for they will be filled.
> 
> Blessed are the merciful,
> 
> for they will be shown mercy.
> 
> Blessed are the pure in heart,
> 
> for they will see God."

It was taken from the Bible, and he couldn't help but feel the spirit move in him. The wallowing had to stop. He had been blessed and he was wasting it away.

"Did you enjoy rehearsal Da?" Fergus asked at the end. 

"I did. Ye sound great, lad." He patted the boys back. "Lets go home and see yer ma." 

Fergus led them home, more animated and was happy to settle back to find dinner being set on the table.

"Perfect timing." Claire said.

"Thank ye for making dinner." Jamie said. 

She smiled at him, grateful for the recognition. "You're welcome." 

They ate around the table together as a family. Claire went to clear as they finished. 

"I've got it Sassenach. Ye go rest." he said. 

"I don't mind cl-."

"I can wash a few dishes. Don't ye worry."

"I'll help." Fergus offered. 

"Thank ye Fergus." He and his son carried the plates into the kitchen, and Jamie washed as the young man dried.

"Thank ye for your help."

"it's good to help Maman." 

"It is. And I should help her more. I havena been the best Da to ye and Faith the past few weeks."

"You cannot be your best when you're sad and hurt." Fergus said. "Maman said you did not feel well and thats why you were so tired all the time."

"Aye but I made yer Mam work so hard."

"She said that sometimes you have to work more in relationships than other times. She said it was her turn to be strong for you."

"Aye, and she has done such a good job. I'm so lucky to have her."

"I'm sure she would like to hear that." 

"Aye. I will have to tell her. You can go play a bit before bed.'

"Oui," Fergus ran off. 

He found Claire sitting in the sitting room, the radio on as she folded Laundry, Faith sitting on the floor. 

"Sassenach?" 

She looked at him. "Do you need a dressing change? Let me finish folding the wash-"

"No, I need to apologize to my wife."

She set down her basket of laundry to be folded. 

"Ye have been perfect. Ye have been patient with me while I work through- whatever this is."

"You needed time." she settled on

"You have taken on more than the lions share of work here at home while I wallowed." 

'You were injured and you discovered some horrible news Jamie."

"Ye're being too kind to me. I could have at least done something. You've been doing everything and I took ye for granted". He sat beside her. "I'm sorry." He reached out, squeezing her hand.

"It's okay. I promised you that I'd be your side. Good and bad. We had our fair share of bad."

"It wouldn't have happened if-"

"Jamie, we can't undo the past. But we can move forward. That's all I want -" she said. "I know you have a lot of unresolved feelings towards Laoghaire."

"I want to hate her."

"You're allowed to. She hurt you in more way than one."

"But I feel like-"

"Jamie, you can feel however you feel. There's no wrong way to feel."

"I hate when you do that." 

"Do what?"

"You're too perfect. You're too understanding. You should be mad at me. For leaving ye to do all this , for giving her-"

"Jamie, I'm trying my hardest here." She said. "I'm no saint. Laoghaire was terrible and she took advantage of your kindness. I did want her gone from our lives. She made things more difficult and I'm not sorry she's gone- " 

"I... I thought I loved her once. I ken now I wasn't thinking with my heart but with my-"

"I know." Claire took a deep breath.

"Sassenach, I mean it when I say that I love ye with every fibre of my bein-. Nothing will ever change that. I love ye so much I can scarcely breathe half the time and the fact that I haven't held ye or been with ye because I'm scared that-"

"Its just me." she said squeezing his hand back. "You don't have to be afraid of me. Ever."

"May I kiss ye?"

"As if you ever have to ask with me." she said. Her eyes fluttered close as his lips approached hers. His lips gently brushed hers, and he felt that spark he had felt first with her so long ago. He rested his head against hers. 

"I love ye."

"I love you too." She said, looking up at him through her thick lashes. 

"We will figure this out. Together."

"Together." she agreed. 

\-----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that the choir sing is known as "Blest are They". It personally holds a very special place in my heart. The Arrangements by David Hass are a favorite of mine. 
> 
> I know the last chapter was a lot. I had so many plot ideas I shoved into one and there are a lot of questions. I don't necessarily have answers for all of them. It is a story and nothing more! I pray you enjoy and I always love your feedback.


	19. Together

Jamie returned to his therapist who he had neglected greatly since he had gotten his memories back. He had a lot more to work on than he had thought, but the twice a week sessions were helpful. He could see it in himself, and Claire could as well. He reached out for her more, he shared his feelings without fear of what she might think, because she was the kindest most understanding wife he could have asked for.

He came home one day after helping Ian and Murtagh with the horses, covered in dust and dirt, and mud after being caught in the rain for a bit.

"Jamie, you're filthy," she said eyeing him.

"Aye, and I might need a dressing change again. This one is soiled and soaked." 

"In the shower soldier." she urged. "I'll bring you fresh clothes."

He stripped as ordered and hopped under the warm spray. Scrubbing away the grime from the day. 

He heard the door open.

"It's just me," she said. "I'm setting your clothes on the vanity."

"Why don't ye join me Sassenach?" he asked, pulling back the shower curtain.

She looked at him, her eyes going dark, before quickly shedding her clothes and hopping in after him.

Her back met the wall of the shower as Jamie assaulted her with kisses, to her lips, and along her neck. She moaned at the contact, the first they had in a while. His thumbs brushed across her nipples, the rest of his large hands cupping and squeezing her breasts.

"Yere so beautiful Sassenach." He continued to kiss her, as she grabbed the soap and began to scrub his body, her hand grabbing and squeezing his cock, eliciting a moan.

"Ah, Dhia!" Jamie hissed as she continued to stroke him. "Christ, Sassenach, it feels so good."

She grinned at him as she continued her work. He removed her hand, and knelt down in front of her, lifting one of her legs over his shoulder.

"Brace yourself, Sassenach." as he began to kiss her nether regions, lapping at the folds, a finger gently rubbing up and down before entering her. Her wee noises urged him on, as did the hand in his wet locks, holding him in place.

"Jamie, I need you," she begged him.

He released her leg and stood before her. He turned off the tap and grabbed a towel for each of them.

"Let's go to bed Sassenach."

They quietly snuck into their bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, entwined in each other. Jamie positioned himself over her for the first time in ages and he looked at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm so lucky to call ye mine Sassenach. I love ye so much." 

He positioned himself at her entrance and slowly pushed into her, he watched her face as he did, and lost himself looking in her eyes. He finally felt like him old self inside of her. She pulled his head down to kiss him again, moaning,g bucking her hips up against him to meet his thrusts. 

"God," she moaned. 

"Not quite." he murmured to her, causing her to laugh as he continued to take her.

She tightened around him not long after, and he released his seed into her. 

She rested her head against his chest, curled up beside him and smiled.

"I missed you." she said.

"Aye, I missed you as well." he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Welcome home soldier."

\--------------

The weather got colder as summer gave way to fall, Samhain/Halloween fast approaching. Claire was determined to make Fergus the best costume she could. 

"Sassenach, we both ken ye're bonny at sutures on people but perhaps we could buy the lad a costume." 

"Are you saying my seamstress skills leave something to be desired?" she asked an eyebrow raised.

"I'm saying that I don't want ye spending all yer free time on that. Ye are already so busy. We can spare the few pounds to get Fergus a fine costume and one fer Faith as well." 

"But it's our first one celebrating together. Fergus and Faith have both never gone-"

"Aye, It's also our anniversary of when we first met." He said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Jenny and Ian offered to watch the bairns after we take them 'guising'"

"Guising?"

"Trick or treating as ye Sassenachs call it." 

"They really want to take our children after they've had candy and sweets?"

"Might have taken some persuading but we haven't been alone in months," Jamie said, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Claire said a smile on her face.

Samhain came and Fergus dressed as a soldier, Faith dressed as an adorable pumpkin. 

"What are you maman?"

"I am working this morning and I will be dressed as Doctor," she said.

"But you are a doctor." Fergus protested.

"Aye, a very good one. I Dinna ken if her job will let her dress up. It could get confusing who was a doctor then."

"But it's not as fun." Fergus insisted. 

"I agree, darling. But I do have work. I'll be out in time to take you and your sister trick or treating."

"We will get the best candy!" 

"I'm sure you will darling." 

They had a wonderful time taking them around the neighborhood before dropping them off with Jenny and Ian. 

"Finally alone." Jamie grinned as they made their way inside the house. He had her back against the wall and was kissing her as they slowly made their way to the living room to have a dram.

She gave him a quick kiss. "Wait here."

He sat sipping his whiskey, listening to the radio.

He heard her come back down the stairs and nearly dropped his drink when he saw her.

"Mo chride" his breathing hitched looking at her.

She was dressed almost identically to the night they met. Like an angel.

"Hello soldier," she said. 

"Christ Sassenach."

"I heard you were here for a dance." She pulled him up to a standing position and he attempted to wrap his arms around her.

"Tsk, no touching soldier. Now take a seat." 

She had him sit in one of the chairs and slowly began her lap dance, her hips moving, rotating and grinding against him, releasing a moan. He had a white knuckle grip on the side of the chair. 

"Fuck..." he said looking at her, her body pressed against him. "I want ye so bad."

"I can tell," she said, a hand grabbing his bulge over his pants. 

"Sassenach, enough of this." He grabbed her and kissed her hard, pulling her into a seated position on his lap, before spending the whole evening making love. 

\--------------

"Thank you for watching the children last night." Claire told Jenny.

"It twas no trouble at all. Faith slept well and Fergus tired himself out."

"Jamie and I appreciated the time alone."

"Aye. the hickey on your neck shows that he certainly did." 

Claire flushed red, and touched her neck, remembering the night before, causing Jenny to laugh. 

"Ye have a child together. I ken that ye have sex. No need to be embarrassed. "

"Still... I thought we were perhaps more discreet."

"Ye needn't worry. I'm not judging."

"No, I didn't think so." 

"I'm glad to see him happy again. I worried about him almost more so when he got shot than when he came back. He wasna himself, but ye always bring him back."

"Together, is home," she said. "And now he's back." 

And the time seemed to pass, November gave way to Christmas and Hogmanay, a vast celebration. Claire and Fergus continued their education. Faith met her milestones, walking and talking. She was every bit as stubborn as her father, and ever bit as free-spirited as her mother. She loved riding horses with her da, and enjoyed spending time with her family.

\-------------

Claire woke up with a familiar sense of nausea one morning in the on-call room of the hospital. Emptying her breakfast as Joe held back her hair.

"Lady Jane go home you're sick."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired. Ate cafeteria tuna. never making that mistake again." she joined.

She nodded and was planning on going home to bed when she picked up a urine pregnancy test from one of the carts. This is how it had started with Faith, and now that they were back together, and physical again, despite how careful they tried to be... they had gotten carried away a time or two... or more often, the more Claire had thought about it.

"Ye're home early," Jamie said, as he spotted her walking through the front door.

"I got sick at work," she said with a shrug, putting her things down.

"Do ye think ye're coming down with something?" Jamie asked putting a hand to her forehead.

"I don't know. but I think I might know." She pulled the test from her pocket. 

Jamie sucked in a breath reading the package.

"Are ye sure?" he asked.

"No, its why I grabbed the test. I thought you might want to know first." she studied the expression on his face. "Are you angry?" 

"Not at all." he shook his head quickly. "How could I be?"

"We didn't plan it," she said.

"We didn't plan any of our life Sassenach. We didn't plan on adopting Fergus or having Faith, or any of this but I wouldn't change a thing." He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. 

"Should I take it?"

"Aye, I think we should ken either way."

Claire went to the bathroom and set the test on the counter and waited the few minutes for it to develop.

"Two pink lines." she read.

"I Dinna ken what that means sassenach." 

"Positive." 

"We're gonna be parents again?" Jamie asked. 

She nodded and looked at him.

"Are you happy?" she asked. 

A moment later he grinned. "Ecstatic." He picked her up and twirled her around, kissing her. "I always dreamed of this. Seeing ye grow with my child." He bent down and pressed a kiss to her belly."

"I promise to be here for ye."

"Jamie it can't hear you yet."

"Doesn't matter, I promise that I'm going to be here for ye, through this pregnancy, and raising this child together. I will not miss out on this again."

She squeezed his hand. 

"We'll do it like we'll do everything else. Together," she said. 

"Together. "


	20. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I apologize for the delay in writing. I've been working overtime every week it seems and I do not have the motivation or the ideas to write as much as I did at the beginning of this story. This is actually going to be one of the last chapters. I think next chapter will be the end of our story. I've loved playing with these characters and telling this story to you all and appreciated all your support along the way.

Claire and Jamie kept the baby a secret from everyone with the exception of Claire's Professors at the Hospital. They had to know so she could avoid any cases that would possibly risk harming the baby, such as radiation patients. Her morning sickness had mostly subsided and she was happy, and healthy.

Her doctor told her she was progressing nicely and that everything appeared to be in perfect order. It was a privilege to be able to share this pregnancy with Jamie. He had snuck away from the distillery for a day for her appointment with the ultrasound.

He sat by her side, hands entwined as the technician used the probe on Claire. They heard swishing noises.

"What's that?"

"That, is our baby's heartbeat." Claire said looking from the monitor to Jamie. 

His face was in awe as he looked at her.

"It's se fast" 

"Aye, they're nice and strong." The technician said. "Would ye like the pictures?"

"Aye, thank ye." Jamie couldn't stop smiling and squeezing Claire's hand. 

"First time parents?" the tech asked.

"No, but first time we get to experience this together." Claire said. "I'm glad to have you here with me." She gazed at the screen. "What's that to the right?"

"Ah thats looks like baby two. Ye're having twins."

And with that Jamie promptly fainted.

\----------

"Honestly this man was a soldier, how twins are the thing that knocks him out astounds me." Claire told the sono tech as they roused him.

"Twins?" he said looking a bit pale. 

Claire raised a brow to him. "Men with guns and bombs don't phase him but two babies? " she shook her head but smiled at him. "Are you alright darling." 

"Just shocked." 

"I know. So am I." 

"But I'm the one who fainted."

"I was laying down on the table I wouldn't have gone anywhere if I had." she conceded. "But yes, we're having twins." she looked at him.

He smiled at her. "Twins."

"You're not mad?"

"Claire, it's more of you to love. You've already given me one child, and now you've blessed me with more." he kissed her hands. "The world could always use a bit more you."

\-----

They waited a few more weeks to tell people but couldn't hide it too long as Claire had already started to show a little, her breasts growing, her hips widening."

Jamie certainly didn't mind, paying even more attention to them than usual. When they were in public, his hand couldn't help but to come to the small bump of Claire's stomach.

"Ye're not drinking. I've never known ye to turn down a whiskey." Jenny said to her with an eyebrow raised. "Jamie can't keep his hands off ye. Something ye're hiding?"

"I wouldn't call it hiding " she looked at her. "We were going to tell you at dinner but -"

"Yer pregnant. I ken it." Jenny said.

"Twins." Claire smiled.

"I'm so excited for ye two." Jenny squeezed her. "When are you due?"

"I'm due in October but twins tend to come early."

"Do the kids ken?"

"I don't think Faith understands. Fergus has an idea but it's still so early."

"Ye're gonna be fine."

"Twins tend to have more complications."

"You're not alone this time." 

"I wasn't alone last time. I had the nuns although it's very different. I'm so happy for him to be with me this time."

"How's he handling it?"

"Fainted when he found out it was twins" 

Jenny laughed. "Of course that fool would faint."

"But he's very excited."

"Aye, he's a good father."

"He is. I'm lucky."

"Aye we both have good husbands who make good fathers." 

"We do."

\----------------

Jamie was ecstatic to feel the children kicking, he was in awe anytime they did anything. His hand was nearly constantly on her growing bump, and he would talk to them.

"It's me, yer- da. I'm so excited to meet you." He would recant to them folk stories and sing them sweet lullabies as they lie in bed at night. Claire would often feel a kiss brush against her stomach and couldn't hide the smile and the happiness Jamie made her feel. 

Fergus and Faith did similar things, though Faith didn't really understand, being a baby herself. But she frequently put her head to her mother's stomach and pressed raspberry like kisses to the babies growing inside.f

\--------------------

Claire began to show more and her fatigue began to increase as the weather grew hotter.

"Sassenach, ye're doing too much. Ye ken that." Jamie urged her as he urged her into bed after dinner one night when she was dozing at the table. 

"I'm fine. I did all the same with Faith and she came out perfectly healthy.

"Aye but yer growin two bairns, not just the one."

"Jamie- I'm okay."

"I worry about ye because I care." he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I just want ye and the bairns to be safe and healthy."

She smiled at him. "I'm a doctor Jamie. I promise I'm okay." 

She went to her next Doctors appointment. Dr. Montgomery was an American woman who had a very no nonsense attitude about her. 

"Claire, what you are doing, is NOT okay." she gave her a stern look that rivaled Mother Hildegards. "You are working yourself to the point of exhaustion. You aren't gaining enough weight."

"I'm finishing my training for-"

"I don't care if you're becoming the pope. Your health is more important. You're already at elevated risk for pre-eclampsia with the twins. That could kill you and your blood pressure has been borderline at best"

"I'm fine-"

"No. You're on bedrest. I'm writing your attending physician you're not going anywhere."

"I have two children at home."

"And a very loving husband from what I recall. He will take care of them. Do not worry."

Claire groaned in frustration. "I'm only 30 weeks."

"Yes. And I want those twins in there for at least another 6 weeks if I can. They are not ready. You didn't do a Neo-natal rotation did you?"

Claire shook her head.

The Doctor dragged her down the hallway to the NICU and had Claire stand in front of the window to the NICU. All she could see were very small beds and almost enclosures with the smallest babies she had ever seen. Her heart ached and she almost cried. 

"Twins are already at risk for low birth weight and pre-term labor. You want them to have the best chance right?" Claire nodded at the woman. 

"I do."

"The best chance is for them to stay inside of you. So you are going to go on bedrest. I'm calling your husband to come pick you up." 

Claire nodded. 

Jamie rushed in frantically. Practically out 

"Is something wrong with ye or the bairns?"

"I'm on bedrest Jamie. I'm fine."

"She's working too hard." Dr. Montgomery argued.

"I agree, doctor." Jamie said. "I just want whats best for her." 

"Good. Then make sure she relaxes, make sure she eats. I don't want her walking farther from the bed to the couch or bathroom. No chores, no-"

"She would be waited on hand and foot if I had it my way." Jamie said looking at Claire. "We'll manage."

"Good. I want her back in a week to check on her ."

"Yes, Dr. Montgomery."

Claire sat in the car and looked at him. 

"Don't say it." she said.

"Say what?"

"I told you so."

"Sassenach, I'm not going to gloat that you have to stay home and relax. I ken ye don't want to and ye would rather be helping yer wee patients but I want ye and the bairns healthy. We'll need some help, aye but ye managed to do this nearly single handedly before, I'm sure with your guidance, I can figure most of it out."

She squeezed his hand. "Together." 

Claire actually didn't hate bed rest the first day. Or rather sleeping in the first day. However after finishing a book that she had meant to finish but had put off, fixing one of Fergus's school uniforms (while sitting in bed), and flipping through a magazine, she was over it.

She did however listen as best she could and only got up from the bed to grab Faith a bottle, and to make herself a sandwich for lunch.

"Hello Sassenach," Jamie said as he greeted her. "How are we doin today?"

"Bored already." he said.

"I ken love. Jenny said she'll stop by tomorrow."

"Good at least I'll have company." 

"Aye. I Dinna want ye alone too long." 

\--------------------------------------

It was two weeks later when Jamie arrived home from work early.

'Sassenach, I have a surprise for ye. Come on down." He called from the entry

She spotted a familiar head of red hair before she saw the face.

"Hell,o hen!"

"Geillis!" Claire beamed, walking as fast as she could down the stairs. "How are you here?" she asked pulling her into a side hug, unable to embrace her fully due to her bump.

"Yer wee fox cub thought ye could use some help and some company. I'm the au pair." she said with an accent. "I'm here to help with the children."

Claire nearly cried having her best friend back.

"Happy tears?" Jamie asked.

"The happiest." she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

"Anything for ye Sassenach. Now you two sit, I'll make some tea."

Claire sat beside Geillis on the sofa and hugged her friend. Happy to be reunited. 

"Fergus!" 

"Oui Maman?"

"Come downstairs." Claire called.

She heard the pounding of his feet.

"Auntie Geillis!"

"My how you have grown like a weed!" Geillis hugged the boy tight. "And where's my wee namesake?"

"Faith is down for her nap.' Claire said. 

"Help yer auntie with her things lad." Jamie insisted. 

"I can help," Claire argued.

"N,o you cannot." Jamie said sternly. "You are on strict orders from the doctor."

"One bag will hardly-."

"I willna hesitate to punish ye, Claire." Jamie said an eyebrow raised. "Bed rest." 

She almost carried the bag up to defy him, to see what he'd do. But instead handed the bag to Jamie. He playfully swatted her behind and kissed her.

"Good lass." he grinned at her.

Dinner with Geillis and Murtagh was a noisy but fun affair for all involved. Geillis spoke about the changes to her home. How she had managed to get out on a tourist visa with some help from Mother Hildegard and had started the process weeks ago.

"You reached out that long ago?" Claire asked.

"Aye, I thought ye might want some help with the bairns from someone ye trusted. Ye said Geillis did a good job with Faith and I can see the way she is with her."

"Thank you Jamie." she smiled. 

The weeks went faster with Geillis around, the two swapping stories as Geillis let Claire do little things like fold laundry and nest as best she could. And before she knew it, She hit 36 weeks. 

\------

"LJ!" she heard Joes' voice as she stopped into the unit just to say hi. "You are looking-" 

"Like a beached whale?"

"Like a radiant sunshine goddess?" Joe offered. "Glowing?"

She shook her head at him but grinned. "Smooth talker." 

"I have a journal article I'm working on I want you to take a look at. Got a sec?"

"Of course." Joe led her to the doctor's lounge. 

"SURPRISE!" All of her coworkers from the hospital were piled into the room, laden with food and gifts.

"You guys." she smiled broadly as they guided her to a chair and fed her and encouraged her to open her presents. Plenty of onesies, nappies, and some toys for the babies.

She thanked them all and was headed home when she felt the pain. 

"LJ, you okay?"

"I think that might have been a contraction," she said trying to breathe through it. "It might be Braxton Hicks. I just need to sit. this is the most excitement I've had in weeks." 

However, the pain returned several minutes later in intensity, along with a gush of water. 

"Let's call Jamie and get you to L&D." 

Joe got her into a wheelchair and rolled her over to the Labor and Delivery Floor, and the nurse was helping her into bed when Jamie made it inside.

"Ye alright Sassenach?" Jamie pressed a kiss to her forehead

"They're just checking me out to make sure everything is alright. I had some strong contractions fairly close together but I'm alright for the moment."

"I'm happy you followed my advice to do the bed rest. Because if you're in active labor, you're far enough along that the babies should be able to go home right away." Dr. Montgomery said. 

"Thanks for making me see it was the right thing to do."

"Lets check and see..." The Doctor reached under the sheet and did a quick pelvic exam.

"4 cm. You're in active labor for sure."

"They're coming?" Jamie asked.

"They're coming." Claire smiled, before gripping Jamie's hand so tightly, her knuckles turning white. Jamie looked at her panicked. 

"Contraction." she explained.

"Epidural?" Dr. Montgomery asked. "We didn't discuss it much, but your pressure is stable enough that I'm not demanding you have one."

"I had Faith naturally," Claire said a moment later after breathing through it. "I'd like to wait a bit longer."

"That's a fine option. I'll check back on you in a bit."

"Are ye okay?"

"I'm fine" she said. 

He sat by her side, pressing a cloth to her forehead as needed, reading to her. But as the contractions came he held her hand. 

"I hate seeing ye like this," he confessed.

"Jamie I'm fine. Its just-" 

“I can bear pain myself, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have." he told her pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Can I ask the doctor to get ye something for the pain?"

"You can ask." she agreed as she rested her head against the chest.

When the Doctor checked again. "You're actually almost 10 cm Claire, you're practically ready to push. No time for pain meds now." 

Jamie held her hand tightly and pet her hair. 

"I hate you James Fraser." she said though gritted teeth as a particularly strong contraction came. "You're never touching me again. No more babies."

"Whatever you want love," Jamie agreed. "I'm here Sassenach."

"Next big contraction, we're pushing Claire." 

"There's no We. It's jut me who has to do all the work. " she whined. 

"AND PUSH!"

Several pushes later, a cry was heard. 

"It's a boy!" Dr. Montgomery declared. 

"Brian," Claire breathed as she looked at Jamie smiling. They laid the baby on her chest, she looked down at her son, and nearly cried. Jamie did as he looked at the brown haired lad in Claire's arms. 

"He's perfect." 

"You can breathe for a moment, Claire. Baby B is getting into position."

Fifteen minutes later, baby B entered the world.

"A girl." Dr. Montgomery said. 

Jamie grinned as he held his newborn daughter for the first time. 

"She's perfect," he said to Claire. "We make beautiful bairns Sassenach." 

The Doctor took them both to run some check-ups and get them cleaned up 

"What are we gonna name that wee lass?"

"I know we didn't discuss it because we didn't know what it would be. Do you like Julia?" 

"Julia?" Jamie asked.

"My mother's name." 

"Aye," he smiled.

"Julia Janet Fraser." Claire smiled. 

Jamie called Jenny and Geillis to bring the Children. 

"Meet your new brother and sister." Jamie declared to Fergus as he walked in. "This is Brian and Julia."

"They're so little." Fergus said. "Even smaller than Faith was."

"Yes, they had to share space, so they came out a little bit smaller, but they'll grow fast I'm sure. 

Julia had somehow wrapped her big brother around her finger instantly, just as Faith had. He was equally excited to teach his little brother about sports and all kinds of mischief.

Faith looked at the babies a bit more hesitantly but pressed a kiss to each of their heads, which made Claire's heart melt.

"All my babies together." she smiled, despite the exhaustion. A photographer snapped a photo and handed it to her. 

"A perfect family." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave your love in the review box!


	21. Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the end of the road my friends! This is the last chapter!

A cry woke them in the night.

"Jamie go check on your son." Claire murmured. 

"He's our son, Sassenach. You check." He mumbled back. 

"I got the last one." she pushed him gently and he let out a sigh getting out of bed, padding to the twins room where he found Brian peering up at him crying.

"Are ye hungry, _mo mhac?"_ he asked the lad who seemed to stop crying as Jamie reached into the crib to pick him up. "Do ye have a wet nappy? Why are ye se upset my wee lad?" Jamie rocked him and hushed him, patting his bottom, discovering the wet nappy was the culprit. 

He got him changed and sat down with him and rocked him for a bit in the rocking chair. 

"Ye ken, I always dreamed of the moments like this with ye that I missed with yer big sister and Didna even ken Fergus when he was this wee. I didna dare to think I'd ever be so lucky to have such a wonderful family but yer mam has blessed me with all of ye. I'm a verra lucky man. One day you'll be a da and ye'll understand." He started fussing again and Jamie tried to hush him.

"He's probably hungry," Claire said from the doorway. "It's around that time." 

She took Brian from Jamie's arms, and sat in his lap, and pulled down her night gown to expose her breast. The baby eagerly latched and began to suckle. 

Jamie watched on in awe. He never tired of that, of watching Claire feed his children so naturally. He never felt so connected to the pair of them except for in those moments, Claire handed Jamie Brian to burp him, and fed Julia, gently rocking the two of them before, setting them back down.

They sat and watched them for a moment, Claire in Jamie's lap, his arms wrapped around them.

"Thank ye for giving me this wonderful life Sassenach." 

"Thank you, Jamie."

\--------------

A few weeks later was the twins' baptism. All of Jamie's family had traveled for a large party, after the service.

Jenny and Ian had been named Brian's godparents, and Murtagh ad been named Julia's godfather. The little girl had wrapped him around her finger, and he was incredibly proud.

"Now hen, who is that?" Geillis asked pointing to an older gentleman. 

"I believe that's Jamie's Uncle Dougal, is it?." Claire looked to Jamie who nodded. 

"Is he married?" Geillis sipped her drink.

"Widowed," Jamie answered. "His wife died going on two years ago. " 

"A shame." Geillis grinned, as she sauntered off toward him,

"Is she using her...? What is she doing?." Jamie looked at Claire.

"I think Geillis might be your new Aunt." Claire laughed, leaning into Jamie. He held her close.

After most everyone had gone home, Jamie, Ian, Jenny, and Claire retired to have a dram, the little ones snoozing. 

"Some party." Ian said. 

"Aye," Jamie nodded, pressing a kiss to Claire's head. "It was nice to celebrate." 

"Indeed," Jenny said. "Although I'm sure it probably won't be too much longer till we have more to celebrate." she grinned at Ian.

"Are you expecting again?" 

"Aye." Jenny nodded. "But today wasn't about us. It was about the twins."

"Congratulations!" Claire smiled at them. 

"Thank ye. This might be the last one." Jenny said.

Ian raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that so?"

"We'll see." Jenny smiled at him.

"Are you two planning on anymore?"

"Well, we didn't plan on any of them," Jamie said causing Claire to laugh. 

"I'd like to wait till I'm done with school. If it happens then, it happens." Claire smiled at Jamie, who nodded. 

"Aye, Sassenach. If it's meant to be, it'll be."

\---------------------------------------

"Dr. Fraser?"

"Yes?" she said looking up at her program director. She had never seen him look so solemn. "What is it?"

"Come to my office."

Putting down the chart she was reviewing, she followed Dr. Webber into his office.

"Have I done something wrong?"

"Your skills are exemplary. You have an excellent work ethic, but why didn't you say anything about your visa?"

"My visa? Is something wrong?"

"You need a new one or you need to become a citizen Dr. Fraser if you want to continue practicing medicine here. I need you to work on this as soon as possible because you aren't allowed to practice until this is sorted.

She went home and sighed. 

"You're home early Sassenach," 

"I can't work until my visa is sorted out." she said. "I should probably head to the embassy but I just wanted to be home right now."

"C'mere." he opened his arms and she came and hugged him, his arms wrapping around her tight squeezing her. "It's gonna be alright."

"How can you know that?" she asked. 

"Ye have three children who are Scottish citizens, and ye' have me. We get married again. I always wanted to do it right in a church."

"That simple huh?" she asked. 

"That simple." he looked at her, dropping down to one knee.

"Sassenach, marry me... again. I'd marry ye today and every day. I choose ye and only ye for the rest of my life."

"Of course I will. I'm already your wife Jamie," she said. He rose and kissed her, pulling her close. 

"Ye make me the happiest man, every day. I'm se lucky to have ye and to be yours, Sassenach. Ye are the best thing that I ever happened to me, save all our children." 

"Likewise," she smiled at him. "I relish being your wife." 

"Then get to the shop pick out a white Dress, I'll call the reverend and we'll be married again by the weekend," Jamie said.

"It's not that simple. 

"We will figure it out Sassenach. It will always be you and me."

With a little help from someone Murtagh knew, they had their marriage license ready, and Claire's citizenship would be back on track as soon as it was filed. 

The reverend wholeheartedly agreed to perform their ceremony as soon as they could, and come that Saturday they were ready. 

It was a small affair. Just family. Jamie, Claire, the children, Jenny, Ian, their brood, Murtagh, Geillis, and her newfound Beau Dougal. 

Claire lucked out finding a dress in a window at a shop, it fitting her right off the mannequin with it fitting near-perfectly except for being too long which was solved with a pair of pumps. It was a soft white, lace 

"Something old," Geillis said pointing to Claire's earrings, pearls from Jamie's mother, "Something new" at her dress, "something borrowed." she pointed to the hairpiece which belonged to Jenny, foregoing a veil, "Something blue." she pointed to her shoes, and had her step on a piece of silver."Ye're ready hen. Are ye nervous?"

"To marry my husband? Never." she shook her head. 

She walked down the aisle toward him, their eyes meeting and the two of them grinning madly at each other. They joined hands and Jamie could hardly stop himself from kissing her instantly.

The ceremony passed in a blur until they exchanged "I dos" and kissed, their small crowd cheering as they were once more declared husband and wife.

\--------------------------

 _"You are cordially invited to the 25th Anniversary Celebration in honor of Jamie and Claire Fraser!"_

Faith smiled at the invitations she and Fergus had come up with that was posted on her refrigerator, as she finished dressing and headed out toward the venue, her bag filled with pictures of the honored couple to share with the guests.

Jamie and Claire smiled at each other sitting 

"Very few people can say that they have been at both of their parent's weddings," Fergus said as he gave a toast. "But I have had the privilege of getting to watch both times, as these two made their vows. I will never forget the look on my father's face as he saw my mother walk towards him. The look of pure awe, of pure devotion each time as they vowed that two became one. There is no doubt that they have had struggles, but every day they remind me the love is worth fighting for and forgiving for." He gazed down at his wife, Marsali beside him, squeezing her hand gently. " Let us raise a glass now and honor them. To Claire and Jamie!" 

"To Claire and Jamie! " Everyone raised their glasses and cheered. Jamie and Claire smiled and drank their toast before walking around the venue gazing at all the pictures that Faith had posted. It was their life. Starting with their first wedding back during the war, to pictures of their reunion when they had first moved in together, to when the twins were born, when they had been married the second time, Claire's completion of residency, the birth of their last child Ellen, Graduations, family parties, candid moments caught on film. 

Jamie took his wife to the dance floor, the same song that had played the night they first made love, playing softly in the background.

"I will never tire of ye, of being your husband Sassenach. I love ye as much as the day I first saw ye" Jamie declared, pressing a kiss to her cheek, his arms wrapped around her.

"Still?" she asked smiling at him.

"Aye, still." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! I loved writing it! I hope to be back soon with another tale but I'm unsure when that'll be. 
> 
> Live well. Love well. Stay safe.


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